Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-22

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear Manager,

I hope you are doing well. There are many things which this sales person's job post has given me like how to communicate with customers, what tricks and strategy i can apply to encourage customers for buying specific product.

Moreover, I want to change my position in this company, as i want to apply for finance department. Furthermore, as i have completed my master in finance, so i will manage all accounts very well. If you will move my position company will grow and get more profit than now.

There are various reasons why I do not want to leave this company. Not only gives promotion on basis of employee's performance, but also rewarding them by throwing small get-together. AS I like the environment of working in this workplace and it is not like under pressure.

I hope you will not disappoint me.

Your faithfully,

Akima vhora.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The letter addresses all three bullet points: skills learned, benefits to the company, and reasons for staying. However, the development of these ideas is quite limited. For instance, the explanation of how the company would benefit from your move is vague, simply stating the company will 'get more profit'. Furthermore, the response is 149 words, falling just short of the 150-word minimum requirement. This under-length impacts the overall development of the task, as the ideas lack the necessary depth and expansion expected at higher bands. To improve, you should provide more specific examples of how your finance background would add value to the new department.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The letter is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use some cohesive devices like 'Moreover', 'Furthermore', and 'Not only', which assist in linking ideas. However, the flow is occasionally mechanical, and some transitions feel forced. For example, the sentence 'Not only gives promotion on basis of employee's performance' is grammatically incomplete and lacks a clear subject, which disrupts the logical flow. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence would help achieve a more natural progression of ideas.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but remains quite basic. You rely on simple phrasing such as 'many things' and 'tricks and strategy'. There are also some awkward collocations, such as 'throwing small get-together' and 'sales person's job post'. To reach a higher band, you should aim for more precise, professional vocabulary suitable for a formal letter to a manager. For example, instead of 'tricks', use 'techniques' or 'methodologies'. Expanding your range to include more topic-specific terminology related to business and career development would significantly improve your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text that occasionally impede clarity. Issues include missing articles ('apply for finance department'), incorrect verb forms ('If you will move my position'), and sentence fragments ('Not only gives promotion...'). The sentence structure is largely simple, with limited attempts at complex sentences. The errors in subject-verb agreement and preposition usage are noticeable. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring every sentence has a clear subject and verb, and reviewing the use of articles and formal tone in professional correspondence.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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