Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-22

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear Sir,

Hope you are well. I am reaching out you to request you to change my department. I am an employee in your company since the last two years. I have fulfilled my responsibilities as a 'Sales Assistance'. I am very dedicated and hard worker which reflects in my previous office record. Kindly, change my department in the 'Marketing And Finance' department.

I have an efficient communication skills and customer services. Besides, I have completed my MBA last month, that will also assist me in this department. It would be a great help to flourish my profession, I would be able to contribute your company more efficiently. Although, I have learnt a lot under your kind supervision, I want to improve my skills further. I have another oppurtunity I hope to hear from you soon.

Yours obediently,

Sobia.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The letter addresses all three bullet points, but the development is insufficient. While you mention your experience and the benefits to the company, the points are brief and lack detail. Furthermore, the response is 139 words, failing to meet the 150-word minimum requirement. This under-length significantly impacts the depth of your response, as you were unable to fully elaborate on your professional contributions or the specific reasons for wanting to stay within the company. To improve, ensure you expand on each bullet point with specific examples or justifications to meet the length requirement and demonstrate a more professional tone.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The letter is organised into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the logical progression is somewhat disjointed. The transition between your current role and the request for a new department is abrupt. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Besides' and 'Although', but they are sometimes used incorrectly or in a way that feels mechanical. The letter lacks a clear, professional flow. To improve, use a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that connects logically to the previous one.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the sophistication expected for a formal business letter. There are some errors in word choice, such as 'Sales Assistance' (should be 'Sales Assistant') and 'flourish my profession' (which is not a standard collocation). You also have a spelling error with 'oppurtunity'. While the meaning is clear, the range is limited and relies on basic phrasing. To improve, focus on learning business-related collocations and proofreading for common spelling mistakes.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

There are several grammatical errors that affect the clarity of your writing. For example, 'I am an employee in your company since the last two years' should be 'I have been an employee... for the last two years'. 'I have an efficient communication skills' contains a subject-verb agreement error. You rely mostly on simple sentence structures, and the attempt at complex sentences often results in errors, such as the comma splice in 'I have another oppurtunity I hope to hear from you soon'. Increasing your control over verb tenses and sentence structure is essential.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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