Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-22

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Johnson,

I hope you are doing well. As you know, I am serving at your restaurant for more than two years now. I strongly feel the necessity of upgrading my career. While, working as a front-line staff I have gained valuable experience customer service, inventory management, supervising staff.

I assure you that I will be highly suitable candidate for a Managerial role at your restaurant thanks to my extensive experience in the industry and dedication. in addition, I am recent graduate of Hospitality and Business Management from TMU University of Canada, Which makes me to stand out of my colleagues.

I do not wish to leave the restaurant because of my relationship with all employees, we are like a family now I enjoy working with my team. Furthermore, our restaurant is one of the most loved and luxurious places in the area.

I hope you will consider me for a high position within the restaurant. I am eagerly waiting for your response.

your faithfully,

Pooja Mehra

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The letter addresses all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly state your experience, explain the benefits of a transfer, and express your desire to remain with the company. However, the development of these points is somewhat limited. For instance, while you mention gaining experience in 'customer service' and 'inventory management,' you could have elaborated more on how these specific skills would translate to a new department. Additionally, the tone is generally appropriate for a formal letter, though the transition between your current role and the request for a managerial position is slightly abrupt. Overall, the task is fulfilled, but more depth in the explanation of benefits would have strengthened the response.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The letter is organized into logical paragraphs, each focusing on a specific requirement of the task. The progression of ideas is clear, moving from your current experience to your future aspirations and reasons for staying. You use some cohesive devices such as 'in addition' and 'furthermore' to link your thoughts. However, some of the sentence connections are a bit mechanical, and there are minor issues with punctuation that affect the flow, such as the comma splice in the third paragraph ('...employees, we are like a family'). Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring correct sentence boundary punctuation would elevate the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'inventory management,' 'managerial role,' and 'luxurious.' There are some minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'serving at your restaurant' (which sounds slightly unnatural; 'working at' is better) and 'stand out of my colleagues' (the correct idiom is 'stand out from'). You also have a few minor spelling and capitalization errors, such as 'in addition' starting with a lowercase 'i' and 'Which' being capitalized mid-sentence. While these errors do not impede communication, they prevent the response from reaching a higher band score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as the relative clause 'which makes me to stand out.' However, there are several grammatical inaccuracies throughout the text. For example, 'I am serving at your restaurant for more than two years' should be the present perfect continuous ('I have been serving'). There are also issues with article usage and prepositional phrases, such as 'I will be highly suitable candidate' (missing 'a') and 'stand out of my colleagues.' While these errors are noticeable, they rarely impede the reader's understanding of your message. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and article usage would significantly improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.