Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-22

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Anna,

I am writing this letter in order to share some important thing which I wanted to tell you from the beginning but I guess this is the right time to say this, In my opinion as a store manager with 7 Eleven for last two years I have gain sufficient experience which I needed to go into merchandising department.

In my last two years tenure, I have learned about each and every product in detailed that now I have ability to not only plan merchandising but I can also execute with zero error in merchandising. I believe my merchandising skills are going to support our compony in making new charts for merchandising every season with new products which are coming to the market. Moreover, I have worked closely with Mr. Tamim who is senior manager in merchandising and I have helped him multiple times in making new schematics for the merchandising department.

I believe its a right time for me to move to the merchandising department. while it will be good for my career development, it will also help company to get a new merchandiser from inside company only who have experience from the ground level. Furthermore, I have given my youth, prime and everything what I have and want to work for this company and its growth until my retirement. That is the only reason I still want to be with our company.

I am looking forward to hearing back from you

Yours sincerely,

Harsh Patel

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The letter successfully addresses all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly explain your experience as a store manager, suggest how the company benefits from your internal move, and express your commitment to the organization. The tone is appropriate for a professional request. However, the development of ideas is somewhat repetitive, particularly regarding your desire to stay with the company. To reach a higher band, ensure that each point is distinct and adds new value to the argument rather than restating the same sentiment in different ways.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The letter is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each serving a specific purpose. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Moreover', 'Furthermore', and 'In my last two years tenure' to connect ideas. However, the flow is occasionally interrupted by awkward phrasing, such as the run-on sentence in the first paragraph. The transition between the second and third paragraphs could be smoother. While the overall structure is sound, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical rather than natural, which prevents a higher score.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'merchandising', 'schematics', and 'career development'. However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice and minor errors, such as 'gain sufficient experience' (should be 'gained'), 'in detailed' (should be 'in detail'), and 'compony' (spelling error). The phrase 'given my youth, prime and everything' is slightly informal and emotive for a professional letter. Expanding your range to include more precise business collocations would improve your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Examples include 'I am writing this letter in order to share some important thing' (should be 'things'), 'I have gain' (should be 'gained'), and 'its a right time' (should be 'it is'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma splices in the opening paragraph. While the meaning is always clear, the frequency of these errors limits the score. Focus on subject-verb agreement and consistent tense usage.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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