Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-22

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Darlene,

I hope you had a great trip to Paris in July and nice to have you back in the office again. I come up with the request of upgrading my position from float/sterilisation technician to a permanent chair-side dental assistant. I would be fine to work with any of the offices run my Dental Corp within Halifax.

Admittedly, I have learned minutiae of infection control protocols during 2 years of my job as a float in Dental Corp. Moreover, I have been working as a fill-in dental assistant for a required time shifts and gained experience for smooth chair-side assisting, X-ray exposures and efficient use of dental software.

I am quite confident that a company will get benefit from my duties upgrade, as we are having a shortage of chair-side dental assistants in the city. Moreover, I do not consider to move to any private office as an opportunity, as I am already having fun with our corporation people. I am feeling fortunate to be surrounded by great bunch of people, and they are respectful and helping each other.

Hopefully, you will have a look into this matter with positive approach. I am impatient to hearing back from you.

Best regards,

Dhara Patel

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

You have addressed all three bullet points required by the task. You clearly stated your experience, explained the benefits to the company, and expressed your loyalty to the organization. However, the tone is slightly inconsistent; while it is a formal request, phrases like 'I am already having fun with our corporation people' are too informal for a professional letter to a manager. To improve, ensure the tone remains consistently professional throughout. The purpose of the letter is clear, and the ideas are relevant, though the development of the 'benefits to the company' could be more specific regarding how your skills would add value in the new role.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The letter is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a closing. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Moreover' and 'Admittedly' to link ideas. However, the transition between the personal opening and the professional request is a bit abrupt. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different requirements of the prompt. To reach a higher band, ensure that the flow between sentences is smoother and that you avoid repetitive sentence structures. The overall progression of ideas is easy to follow, and the letter maintains a clear focus on the objective throughout.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using industry-specific terms like 'infection control protocols' and 'chair-side dental assistant'. There are some instances of awkward phrasing, such as 'gained experience for smooth chair-side assisting' and 'I am impatient to hearing back from you', which is grammatically incorrect and stylistically unnatural. While you attempt to use more sophisticated vocabulary, some word choices are slightly imprecise. Focusing on more natural collocations and professional phrasing will help improve your score in this area.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors that occur throughout the text, such as 'I come up with the request' (should be 'I am writing to request'), 'run my Dental Corp' (should be 'run by'), and 'I do not consider to move' (should be 'I do not consider moving'). Additionally, 'I am impatient to hearing back' should be 'I look forward to hearing back'. While these errors do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Increasing the accuracy of your verb forms and prepositions is essential.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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