Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-22

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Brian,

I hope this email finds you well. I appreciate the everyday's company support.

I'm writing to ask for my transition from IT department to HR department.

It's been two years since I started this position, and I've learned our customer management software, networks well. However, I feel that I need to develop further my career, and I would like to experience Human Resource department. This might be good for your company as our HR manager constantly needs IT support due to the new software implementation, and I already have access to all the information since I'm a member of IT department. Also, I used to be a teacher at high school for seven years. The job is not completely same, but I believe that the experience that I guided them or encourage to follow the rules can help.

Although, I would like the transition, however, I also want to stay this company because this company started as a family owned. Though it became bigger, the relationship among employers and staffs are family value. We care each other a lot. That makes me to contribute to this team more.

Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,

Sayaka Nakamura

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

You have addressed all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly stated what you learned in your current role, provided a logical reason for how the company would benefit from your move, and explained your loyalty to the firm. The ideas are relevant and well-developed, particularly the connection between your IT background and the needs of the HR department. To reach a higher band, ensure that your tone remains consistently professional throughout, as some phrasing, such as 'I hope this email finds you well', is standard but could be followed by more formal transitions.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The letter is logically organized into distinct paragraphs, each serving a clear purpose. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'However', 'Also', and 'Although', to link ideas. However, the use of 'Although' followed by 'however' in the same sentence is redundant and creates a slight mechanical feel. Additionally, the transition between the discussion of your teaching experience and the company culture could be smoother. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring they are used precisely would enhance the flow of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully using terms like 'transition', 'implementation', and 'contribute'. There are some minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'everyday's company support' (should be 'daily support from the company') and 'relationship among employers and staffs' (should be 'relationships between management and staff'). While these errors do not impede communication, they indicate a need for more precise control over common business collocations to reach a higher band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical slips, such as 'I would like to experience Human Resource department' (missing article 'the'), 'The job is not completely same' (should be 'the same'), and 'That makes me to contribute' (should be 'makes me want to contribute'). These errors are frequent enough to be noticeable but do not prevent the reader from understanding your message. Focusing on article usage and verb patterns will help improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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