Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-23

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Mr. Henry,

Hope you are doing well. I appreciate your feedback on my performance in our last meeting. My motive for this email is to request you about changing my department to data engineering from software developer.

First of all, it has been two years since I joined this organisation as a software developer. I learned a lot of things while working here, my developing skills were improved along with leadership skills which you are already familiar with. On top of these skills, I have also gained wonderful experience being a family with the organisation. I started learning data engineering over last few months and also deployed some practice projects, which are available on my personal profile. I would love to apply those skills and help in growth of the institute.

Moreover, the working environment here is very encouraging that, I feel motivated in every moment. Other than that the colleagues working with me always support each other when needed, due to these reasons I am eager to switch department within the company rather than moving somewhere else.

Looking forward to your prompt response.

Yours faithfully,

John Doe

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The letter successfully addresses all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly state your current skills, explain the benefits of your transfer to data engineering, and provide valid reasons for wanting to remain within the company. The tone is appropriate for a formal business letter. To reach a higher band, ensure that your ideas are slightly more developed; for instance, when mentioning the benefits to the company, you could be more specific about how your data engineering skills would solve a particular problem or improve efficiency in the new department.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The letter is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a closing. Paragraphing is used effectively to separate the different points requested in the prompt. You use some cohesive devices such as 'First of all', 'On top of these', and 'Moreover' to link your ideas. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical. To improve, try to vary your linking phrases and ensure that the flow between sentences is smoother, particularly in the second paragraph where the transition from your current skills to your new learning could be more fluid.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'organisation', 'deployed', and 'encouraging'. However, there are some minor inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'being a family with the organisation' (which is non-standard) and 'motive for this email' (which sounds slightly unnatural; 'purpose' would be better). You also use 'institute' to refer to your company, which is not the most precise term. Expanding your range to include more professional collocations would help elevate your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is always clear, there are several grammatical slips. For example, 'my developing skills were improved' should be 'my development skills have improved' or 'my skills have improved'. The phrase 'the working environment here is very encouraging that, I feel motivated' contains a punctuation error and an awkward structure; it would be better as 'the working environment is so encouraging that I feel motivated'. Despite these errors, they do not impede communication.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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