Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-23

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Mr Henry,

I am writing to request for promotion from me being a customer service representative to HR entry level .

I did learn alot coming into this company two years ago as a customer service representative.However i learnt how to communicate properly with cilents and other colleagues without being shy or timid or even at time nervous.I also learnt how to be patient with the different emotions of the clients because the clients react different ways to either the same issue or a different issue.

Me wanting a promotion from being a customer service representative to HR entry,it is a big decision but the company will benefit by me having a better judgement of who we want to hire because i said earlier i have lerant how to be patient and how to communicate better. As an Hr mangager i would be able to identify who is the better candidate for us to hire in certain positions.

The reason i do not want to leave the company is because we get bonuses,work trips and the other benefits especially the health benefit which other companies do not give to their staffs.

Yours Sincerely

Banjo Temiloluwa

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The letter addresses all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly state what you learned in your current role, explain the benefits to the company of your transfer, and provide reasons for staying. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For example, the explanation of how you would benefit the company as an HR manager is a bit repetitive, focusing again on patience and communication rather than specific HR-related skills. To reach a higher band, ensure that your arguments are more distinct and fully explored. The tone is generally appropriate for a formal letter, though the request for a 'promotion' to an 'entry level' position is slightly contradictory.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The letter is logically organized into paragraphs, with each paragraph addressing a specific part of the prompt. There is a clear progression of ideas from your current experience to your future goals. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and limited. You rely heavily on simple transitions like 'I also' and 'The reason'. To improve, try using a wider variety of linking words and phrases to connect your sentences more fluidly, such as 'Furthermore', 'Consequently', or 'In light of this'. Paragraphing is present, but the transitions between ideas could be smoother to enhance the overall flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You have an adequate range of vocabulary to convey your message clearly. You use some relevant professional terms like 'customer service representative' and 'career development'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and minor errors, such as 'request for promotion from me being' and 'better judgement of who we want to hire'. Additionally, there are spelling errors like 'cilents' and 'lerant'. To improve, focus on using more precise professional collocations and ensure you proofread for basic spelling and word-form accuracy to avoid distracting the reader.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow of reading. Examples include 'I did learn alot coming into this company' (informal/awkward), 'clients react different ways' (missing preposition), and 'As an Hr mangager' (capitalization/spelling). There are also issues with punctuation, such as missing spaces after commas and periods. While your meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors prevents a higher score. Focus on subject-verb agreement and consistent use of articles to improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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