Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-23

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Sir,

I am writing to request you regarding opportunity to work at other department of the hospital.

As you might already know, I have been working as a junior physiotherapist for two years, this role provided a really great exposure to different kind of patients. Woking as a junior PT has not only sharpen my communication skills but also taught me how to manage multiple patients simultaneously.

I request you to promote me to senior PT position, as I have gained sufficient experience. My educational and clinical background will significantly contribute to design treatment plans, educating patients and performing risk assessments. Consequently, higher rate of patient satisfaction and patient flow can be achieved.

I would love to continue working with this hospital due to hands on skills and employee friendly environment. Considering bond I share with my colleagues and future career growth.

Hoping for positive consideration of my request. Let me know when to discuss this further.

Yours faithfully,

Mansi

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The letter addresses all three bullet points, but there is a significant misunderstanding of the prompt. The task asks you to request a move to a 'different department,' yet you explicitly ask for a 'promotion to senior PT position' within the same department. This misinterpretation of the core instruction affects the task achievement score. While you discuss your experience and reasons for staying, the failure to address the specific request for a departmental transfer means the task is only partially fulfilled. To improve, ensure you read the prompt carefully to distinguish between a promotion and a lateral move to a different department.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The letter is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your intent. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'Consequently' and 'As you might already know,' to link ideas. However, the transition between paragraphs is sometimes abrupt, and the use of referencing is occasionally weak, such as in the sentence 'Considering bond I share with my colleagues...' which lacks a clear subject or verb. Improving the flow between sentences and ensuring each paragraph has a clear topic sentence would help elevate your score in this criterion.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'clinical background,' 'risk assessments,' and 'simultaneously.' However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'request you regarding opportunity' instead of 'request an opportunity' and 'design treatment plans' where 'developing' or 'implementing' might be more natural. There are also minor errors in article usage (e.g., 'at other department'). While these do not impede communication, they limit the precision of your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Examples include missing articles ('at other department,' 'at this hospital'), subject-verb agreement issues ('Woking... has not only sharpen'), and punctuation errors. The sentence 'Considering bond I share with my colleagues and future career growth' is a fragment and lacks a main clause. While your meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focus on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and article usage.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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