Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-23

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Dear Mark,

I hope you are doing good.As you know that it has been officially two years of me as an assistant marketing general in this company.I worked hard day and night and gained excellent knowledge.

I think that now i have gained enough experience about this job.Now, I should be promoted to the job of senior marketing head because staying as an assistant in that field helped me gain enough experience and knowledge.Now, I had an excellent chance for me to grow this company a lot. During my stay,I learned a lot about the defects and flaws in our marketing strategies.I think I have a better marketing strategy.

I think I shall be given a chance to give my hardworking hours for the betterment of the company.I want to increase the value of this company in international market.I want my company to be recognised as one of the best companies in its department. Hoping to get a promotion soon.

Regards,

Aitzaz

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to address the core instruction of the prompt, which is to request a move to a different department. Instead, you have written a request for a promotion to a senior position within your current department. While you mention gaining experience, you do not explain how the company would benefit from a departmental transfer, nor do you explicitly state why you wish to remain with the company despite wanting a change. Because the main purpose of the letter is misaligned with the task requirements, the response is only partially relevant.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The letter is divided into paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. The transition between your current role and your desire for a promotion is abrupt. Cohesive devices are limited and often repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'I think' and 'Now' to start sentences. The lack of clear linking words makes the flow of ideas feel mechanical and disjointed. To improve, you should use a wider variety of transition signals to connect your thoughts more naturally.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is basic and repetitive. Phrases like 'worked hard day and night' and 'gained enough experience' are somewhat informal and lack the professional tone required for a formal business letter. There is little attempt to use more sophisticated or topic-specific vocabulary related to career development or corporate strategy. You rely on simple, high-frequency words, which limits your ability to express your professional goals with precision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including issues with article usage (e.g., 'in international market'), verb tense consistency (e.g., 'I had an excellent chance'), and punctuation (e.g., missing spaces after commas). The sentence structures are mostly simple, with limited use of complex sentences. While the meaning is generally understandable, the errors are frequent enough to distract the reader and indicate a lack of control over basic grammatical structures.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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