Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-23

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear Mr. Smith,

I would like to request you to promote my job position from Senior Software Engineer to Chief Technological Officer within this company. In my current job position, I have learned diverse technical skills that allows me to provide technical support our customer management system. In addition, I am also able to manage all our internal tools.

I would be appreciate if you can promote my position from Senior Software Engineer to CTO. In new position, I can leverage my existing technical experience along with new leadership skills. I can help company to modernize workflow from manual processes to AI driven automations. This change may improve work efficiency in multiple departments including marketing.

Although I do have a offer letter from Amazon, I do not want to leave this company. This is because I already settled in this city with my family. I recently bought new home. Therefore, I do not want to leave this company and aiming to progress within the company.

I look forward to your positive response.

Yours faithfully,

Yash

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response fails to address the core instruction of the prompt. The task asks you to write to your manager to request a move to a different department within the same company. Instead, you have written a request for a promotion to a high-level executive role (CTO). This is a significant misinterpretation of the task requirements. While you do mention your current skills and your desire to stay at the company, the primary purpose of the letter is fundamentally misaligned with the prompt. To improve, ensure you read the instructions carefully to identify the specific action requested—in this case, a lateral move or departmental transfer, not a promotion.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The letter is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each serving a specific purpose. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'In addition', 'Although', and 'Therefore' to link your ideas. However, the progression of ideas is sometimes hindered by the misinterpretation of the task. The transition between your current role and the request for a promotion feels abrupt. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of cohesive devices and ensure that the logical flow supports the specific goal of the letter rather than shifting focus between disparate topics.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'leverage', 'modernize', and 'automations'. However, there are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice errors, such as 'I would be appreciate' (should be 'I would appreciate') and 'I already settled' (should be 'I have already settled'). These errors do not impede communication, but they do limit the precision of your writing. To improve, focus on correct verb forms and collocations, and try to incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary related to professional communication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, including missing articles ('help company', 'bought new home'), incorrect verb tenses ('I already settled'), and subject-verb agreement issues ('skills that allows'). These errors are noticeable but do not prevent the reader from understanding your message. To improve, pay closer attention to articles and ensure that your verb tenses are consistent and accurate throughout the letter.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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