Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-24

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Manager,

I am writing this letter to show a keen interest in behavioural management department. As I am in healthcare department since 5years.

I have learned all the managing, diversional, cognitive skills to deals with the residence. Due to working from long time in this field, I gained all the experienced in behavioural management. I am confident to provide first hand care to all the residents by myself.

There is two benefits to the company if I moved to another department, as i know all the residents of the long term care and familiar with their behaviour and diseases. Another one is I do not need any training, so I can start this job as soon as possible.

I do not want to leave this company because of working so long with you makes me feel like a home. The company’s reputation is excellent and always ready to solve the employees problem and adjust accordingly.

I am waiting for your response.

Warm regards,

Jaspreet kaur

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The letter addresses all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly state your experience, explain the benefits to the company, and provide reasons for wanting to stay. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For example, while you mention 'managing, diversional, cognitive skills', these are listed rather than explained in the context of your career development. To reach a higher band, ensure that your ideas are expanded with more detail and professional justification. The tone is generally appropriate for a formal letter to a manager, though it could be more polished.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The letter is logically organized into paragraphs, each focusing on a specific requirement of the task. There is a clear progression of ideas from your current role to your future goals. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and limited. Phrases like 'Another one is' and 'Due to working from long time' feel slightly repetitive or unnatural. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring smoother transitions between sentences would enhance the flow of the letter. Overall, the structure is clear and easy to follow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey your message, such as 'behavioural management' and 'career development'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'diversional skills' (likely meaning 'diversional therapy') and 'gained all the experienced'. Additionally, 'makes me feel like a home' is an incorrect idiom. While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your intent, they indicate a need for more precise vocabulary and a better grasp of common English collocations to reach a higher band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The letter contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement ('There is two benefits') and article usage ('in healthcare department'). You also struggle with tense consistency and prepositions, such as 'As I am in healthcare department since 5years'. While these errors do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to affect the overall fluency of the writing. To improve, focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy, specifically regarding plurals, articles, and verb tenses.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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