Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-24

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

  • say what you have learned in your present job
  • suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
  • explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Dear hospital representatives,

I priyanshi work as a staff nurse in your pediyatric department since last 2 years .i got lots of experience in your hospital and this department.I want to inform you that i want to learn different and gain a more experience in different departments.

In our hospital i saw a vacancy of different departments work please you inform me that process of reqrutment and different work experience.

I request you that give opportunity to me for a better hospital care.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response4.0
Coherence and Cohesion5.0
Lexical Resource5.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.0
Overall5.0

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, reaching only 83 words. Consequently, the task is only partially addressed. While you mention your current role and express a desire to move departments, the ideas are significantly underdeveloped. You do not clearly explain what you have learned, nor do you provide a persuasive argument for how the company would benefit from your transfer. Furthermore, the explanation for why you wish to stay is missing. To improve, you must expand on each bullet point with specific details and ensure the letter meets the length requirement.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The letter lacks a clear structure and logical progression. While there is a basic attempt at paragraphing, the ideas within the paragraphs are disjointed. There is a lack of cohesive devices to link sentences and ideas, making the text feel like a series of isolated statements rather than a professional letter. To improve, you should use transition words such as 'furthermore', 'consequently', or 'in addition' to connect your thoughts and ensure a smoother flow of information throughout the letter.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive, relying on basic terms like 'work' and 'different'. There are several spelling errors, such as 'pediyatric' (pediatric) and 'reqrutment' (recruitment), which hinder the professional tone required for a formal letter. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to express complex ideas or professional intentions effectively. You should focus on learning topic-specific collocations related to professional development and workplace communication to enhance your lexical range and precision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The grammar is characterized by frequent errors in sentence structure, punctuation, and verb tense. For example, 'I priyanshi work' lacks proper capitalization and punctuation, and 'since last 2 years' should be 'for the past two years'. The use of simple sentences dominates, and there is a lack of complex structures. The errors are frequent and occasionally impede the clarity of your message. You need to focus on basic sentence construction, subject-verb agreement, and the correct use of tenses to improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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