Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-24

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Manager,

I am writing to express my interest in moving to a different department within the company. While holding the same position for two years, I have mastered in everything and empowered to take more responsibilities for my career development.

As I am working in the dispatch department, by which I have gained valuable experience in customer service, problem-solving and team collaboration. These attributes are more effective to perform multifarious activities at the same time.

I believe that the organization will also take benefits simultaneously by transferring me, as strong communication and organizational are fundamental skills for the growth of any company. Even though I have attended several meetings and events, which assist me to boost my confident; therefore, I can more effectively coordinate with clients, customers and contractors, and provide them prompt assistance to eradicate their issues.

I have been started my career from the present company and would like to grow along with it, as it is not only offers opportunities in professional growth but also provides financial incentives in terms of increase the confidence and make their proactive and pensive.

I sincerely hope you will consider my request. I would greatly appreciate your support and would be happy to discuss this matter at your convenience.

Yours sincerely,

Harjit kaur

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

You have addressed all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly stated what you learned in your current role, explained the benefits to the company of your transfer, and expressed your commitment to the organization. The tone is appropriate for a formal letter to a manager. However, some ideas are slightly underdeveloped or expressed in a confusing manner, such as the final sentence of the fourth paragraph regarding 'financial incentives' and 'pensive' employees, which is unclear. To improve, ensure that your explanations are logical and directly relevant to the professional context of the request.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The letter follows a logical structure with clear paragraphing. You use some cohesive devices like 'While', 'As', and 'Even though' to connect ideas. However, the flow is occasionally interrupted by awkward phrasing or mechanical transitions. For example, the sentence 'As I am working in the dispatch department, by which I have gained...' is grammatically disjointed, making the connection between the clauses weak. Improving the variety and accuracy of your linking words will help the text flow more naturally and elevate your score.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'multifarious', 'coordinate', and 'proactive'. However, there are several instances of incorrect word choice or collocation that hinder precision. For example, 'mastered in everything' is incorrect (should be 'mastered everything'), and 'take benefits' should be 'benefit'. Additionally, the word 'pensive' is used incorrectly in the context of professional development. Focusing on accurate collocations and ensuring that words are used in their correct grammatical form will significantly improve your lexical score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is good. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'I have been started my career' (passive voice error), 'it is not only offers' (incorrect verb form), and 'boost my confident' (should be 'confidence'). Subject-verb agreement and tense consistency are areas that require more attention. While your meaning is generally understandable, these recurring errors prevent the writing from reaching a higher band. Proofreading for basic verb forms and word classes will help.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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