Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-25

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear sir or Madam,

I am writing this letter to express my situation to move from one place to another regarding my better career opportunities. I am working in IT department as a assistant. Furthermore, I learned various kind of information and got vital knowledge from experienced employers. Moreover, I also learned about interpersonal skills and know about how to tackle with critical situation in best way.

Now, I want to move another company location and I want to do work as a same department because new company provide me more salary package and better facilities for my good living standard or they provide me separate living area for me to for comfortably living there beside this, I want to work with new company members for getting more another knowledge about my field.

I do not want to leave the company because this work is my passion and I familiar bout my IT field work because I did this study. Additionally, this It job gave me lot of knowledge and meet with new employers or employees from different nationality or culture so this is the reason I do not want to change my stream occupation.

Thank you for you precious time and consideration for reviewing it. I look forward your revert back as soon as earlier.

Best Regards

Apoorva

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses all three bullet points, but there is a significant misunderstanding of the prompt. The task asks you to move to a different department within the same company, but you write about moving to a 'new company' and 'new company location.' This misinterpretation affects the relevance of your arguments regarding salary and facilities, which are not typical reasons for an internal transfer. While you mention your current role and desire to stay with the company, the core logic of the letter is flawed because you describe leaving the firm entirely rather than transferring internally. To improve, ensure you read the prompt carefully to distinguish between internal and external job changes.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The letter is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use some cohesive devices like 'Furthermore,' 'Moreover,' and 'Additionally' to link ideas. However, the progression of ideas is sometimes hindered by the confusion regarding the company move. The referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the second paragraph where you switch between 'another company' and 'same department.' The use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. Improving the logical connection between your desire for development and the internal transfer process would enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision required for a higher band. You use basic terms like 'good living standard' and 'best way,' which are repetitive and lack sophistication. There are also some awkward collocations, such as 'tackle with critical situation' (should be 'handle critical situations') and 'stream occupation.' You attempt to use some topic-specific vocabulary, but it is often used incorrectly due to the misunderstanding of the prompt. Expanding your range to include more professional and formal business terminology would significantly improve your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'I am working in IT department as a assistant' (missing articles), 'I familiar bout my IT field' (missing verb 'am'), and 'I look forward your revert back' (incorrect phrasing). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with capitalization and sentence boundaries. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar and sentence construction prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focus on subject-verb agreement and correct article usage.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.