Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-25
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.
Write a letter to your manager. In your letter
- say what you have learned in your present job
- suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
- explain why you do not wish to leave the company
You do NOT need to write any addresses.
Begin your letter as follows:
Dear ....................................,
Student answer (Band 5.5)
hello sir,
my name is Ahmad and i joined your company 2 years ago.i am working as safety incharge in your company.i have gain good experience in safety incharge fork lifter and office mannegment.i am very hard working person and always ready for any situation at working site.
i would like to say you that as my designation kindly move me in a different department in your company because i think it is important for my career in future.
if i moved in other department i promise that i will more work hard and it will be very helpful for your company.Honestly i am saying i can proper team work,i could be handle team in any difficult situation.i will prove my experience.
As you know that i am working with your firm with in 2 years and i spend the beautiful time with my team.As we all are know your company is the best firm in this country and i could not leave this company.i have no better option after this.
i will waiting for your answer for my request.
many regards.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The letter addresses all three bullet points: it mentions experience gained, suggests benefits to the company, and explains the desire to stay. However, the development of these ideas is quite limited. For example, the explanation of how the company would benefit is vague, relying on general statements like 'it will be very helpful' rather than specific professional contributions. The tone is also somewhat informal for a formal request to a manager, which affects the overall impact of the communication. To improve, you should provide more specific details about your skills and how they align with the needs of a different department.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The letter is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is very limited and often mechanical. Transitions between sentences are frequently missing or awkward, such as starting sentences with 'if i moved' or 'as you know that'. The flow of ideas is somewhat disjointed, and the lack of varied linking words makes the writing feel repetitive. To improve, focus on using a wider range of cohesive devices like 'furthermore', 'consequently', or 'in addition' to connect your thoughts more naturally.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is basic and repetitive, which limits your ability to express professional ideas clearly. There are several errors in word choice and spelling, such as 'mannegment' (management) and 'incharge' (in-charge). Phrases like 'i have gain good experience' and 'i could be handle team' show a lack of control over collocations and grammatical structures. While the meaning is generally understandable, the range is insufficient for a higher band score. You should focus on learning professional terminology related to your workplace and improving your spelling of common business terms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response relies heavily on simple sentence structures. There are frequent grammatical errors throughout, including issues with subject-verb agreement ('i could be handle'), article usage, and capitalization (e.g., 'i' should always be 'I'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing spaces after periods and incorrect comma usage. While these errors do not completely prevent the reader from understanding your message, they are frequent enough to cause difficulty. To improve, practice using more complex sentence structures and pay closer attention to basic grammar rules like verb tense consistency and capitalization.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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