Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-25

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Manager,

I am writing to request you to assign some additional responsibilities to my portfolio by moving me to an another department. I am working as a Data Analyst for over 2 years, and have learned various tools and technologies, such as Python, Excel and SQL specially for exploratory data analysis and extracting hidden patterns from raw data.

Additionally, I have also gain some expertise in artificial intelligence, cloud computing and data architectures and keen to join the team of data architects. It will provide me an opportunity to grow as a professional by utilizing my skills into upcoming crucial projects, and help team to achieve their goals.

After completing bachelor's, it is a first company I have been working for and also want to continue for a long term. The primary reason is, I am really inspired by our organization's long term vision, and how my work is recognized in all the projects.

Yours faithfully,

Nilay Patel

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

You have addressed all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly stated what you learned (Python, Excel, SQL), explained the benefits to the company (utilizing skills in upcoming projects), and provided reasons for wanting to stay (alignment with the company's vision). The tone is appropriate for a formal letter to a manager. To improve, you could expand slightly on the specific 'crucial projects' you mentioned to make your argument more persuasive. Overall, the response is well-focused and meets the requirements of the task effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The letter is logically organized with a clear progression of ideas. Each paragraph focuses on a specific requirement of the prompt. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Additionally' and 'The primary reason is', which help the flow. However, the transition between the first and second paragraphs is slightly abrupt. To reach a higher band, ensure that your sentences are linked more fluidly and that you use a wider variety of cohesive devices to connect your ideas, rather than relying on simple sentence starters.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using industry-specific terms like 'exploratory data analysis' and 'data architectures' correctly. There are some minor errors, such as 'gain' instead of 'gained' and 'an another' (which is redundant). While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning clearly, it lacks the sophistication and precision required for higher bands. Try to incorporate more varied collocations and avoid repetitive phrasing to enhance the professional tone of your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is good. However, there are several grammatical errors that affect the accuracy of your writing. For example, 'I am working as a Data Analyst for over 2 years' should be 'I have been working...'. Additionally, 'it is a first company' should be 'it is the first company'. While these errors do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles to improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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