Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-26

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear sir,

Hope this letter finds you in radiant health and value of sprits. i am writing this letter to request you that now i am as working security guard job from last two year. i have learned a lot of aspects from this job such as how i can work in team , how i can be helpful with each others. i am very hard working towards my tasks.

i would like to request you that it would be beneficial for company that if they can upgrade my position as team lead or supervisor in this company.it would be really beneficial owing to this , i have experienced in this position. moreover, i know all the policies and regulations how i can assist with it.

i don't want to left this company because i gained experience in this field and i want to continue with this company .however, this company is near from my accommodation , and you are paying health benefits .

yours sincerely

Ramandeep

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The letter addresses all three bullet points required by the prompt: what has been learned, the benefits of a transfer, and the reasons for staying. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the explanation of how the company would benefit is vague, focusing more on the candidate's desire for a promotion rather than specific value added to a new department. The tone is generally appropriate for a formal letter, although the opening greeting 'Dear sir' is generic and the closing is slightly informal. To improve, you should provide more specific examples of skills that are transferable to a new department to better persuade your manager.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The letter is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure of your request. You use some cohesive devices such as 'moreover' and 'however' to link ideas. However, the flow between sentences is occasionally mechanical, and some transitions feel abrupt. For example, the jump from discussing your current role to requesting a promotion lacks a smooth logical bridge. Additionally, the referencing is sometimes unclear, such as in the phrase 'assist with it', where the antecedent is ambiguous. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a clear topic sentence would enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to communicate your intentions clearly. You use some relevant work-related terms like 'policies', 'regulations', and 'career development'. However, there are instances of unnatural phrasing, such as 'radiant health and value of sprits' (which is overly flowery and non-standard) and 'left this company' (should be 'leave'). There is also some repetition of basic words like 'company' and 'beneficial'. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise collocations and avoiding informal or non-standard expressions in a professional context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

You demonstrate a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'i am as working'), incorrect verb tenses (e.g., 'i have experienced in this position' instead of 'I have experience'), and missing articles. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with spacing after periods and commas. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to lower the score. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for tense consistency would significantly improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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