Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-26

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Manager,

I am writing to request a promotion from the Sales to the Administration Department.

I started working with the company in September 2024. Since then I have been working in the same department as a sales manager. I learned about the best customer service while handling their complaints and resolving them as well in the best manner.

I believe that I have learned numerous sales strategies, and now I would like to enhance my skills with the administration job. My convincing skill power and excellent communication skills would definitely bring in more clients for our company. As a result, the company will start expanding its business to other areas as well.

I am really grateful to this company for giving me an opportunity to prove my sales skills and expose me to the different world where I was completely naive. With the best training, I was able to get an increment with in one year that has motivated me to stay a part of the same company instead of finding an opportunity with any of our competitor.

I hope you will definitely look into this matter.

Yours Faithfully,

Manmeet Kaur

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

You have addressed all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly stated what you learned in your current role, explained the benefits of your transfer to the company, and provided reasons for wanting to stay. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the explanation of how the company would benefit from your move is a bit vague, relying on general claims about 'convincing skill power' rather than specific professional contributions. To reach a higher band, ensure that your arguments are more detailed and directly linked to the specific context of the departments mentioned.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The letter follows a logical structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a closing. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different requirements of the task. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'As a result' and 'Since then', to link ideas. However, the flow between sentences is occasionally a bit mechanical. To improve, try to vary your transition words and ensure that the progression of ideas within paragraphs feels more natural and less like a list of answers to the bullet points.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as 'enhancing my skills' and 'motivated'. However, there are some instances of awkward phrasing or word choice, such as 'convincing skill power' and 'expose me to the different world where I was completely naive'. These choices slightly detract from the professional tone required for a formal letter to a manager. Expanding your range of collocations and using more precise professional terminology would help you achieve a higher score in this criterion.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is appropriate for this task. There are some grammatical errors, such as 'with in one year' (within) and 'instead of finding an opportunity with any of our competitor' (competitors). Additionally, the phrase 'I am writing to request a promotion from the Sales to the Administration Department' is slightly imprecise, as you are likely requesting a transfer rather than a promotion. While these errors do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Focus on proofreading for small prepositional and pluralization errors.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.