Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-26

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Hi,

Dear Kamal, I hope you are well doing.

I am writing this letter requesting to you about my promotion in your company because i am doing work since two years .

First of all, I learned a lot of things in my present job in this company. when I started my work in the company ,i have not enough knowledge about the accounts and management . But after few months ,i learned new things with the help of my manager and co workers. I enjoyed a lot with the work.

Furthermore, I expect my company to move me in the another department , because it is beneficial for me . So , i need a manager position for my further career development.

Moreover, I want not to leave the company , because all staff members are very cooperative and speak politely with everyone also manager is very helpful person and I explored new skills with the help of manager in this company.

I hope you understand my situation.

Sincerely.

Rajveer Kaur.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The letter addresses all three bullet points, but the development is somewhat superficial. You mention learning 'a lot of things' and 'accounts and management,' but these points lack specific detail. Furthermore, the request for a 'manager position' is a significant leap from a standard internal transfer request, which makes the tone slightly inappropriate for a professional letter. While you cover the requirements, the ideas are not fully extended or supported with professional reasoning, which limits the effectiveness of the communication.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The letter is organized into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or misused. For example, 'Furthermore' and 'Moreover' are used to link ideas, but the transition between the points is sometimes abrupt. The referencing is occasionally unclear, such as the shift from discussing a department move to suddenly asking for a 'manager position.' The overall flow is understandable, but the lack of sophisticated linking words and the repetitive sentence structure hinder the logical progression of your argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

Your vocabulary is basic and repetitive. You rely heavily on simple verbs like 'learned,' 'started,' and 'enjoyed.' There is little attempt to use more precise or professional terminology suitable for a workplace request. Phrases like 'I hope you are well doing' are unnatural and indicate a lack of control over standard English collocations. To improve, you should focus on using more formal business vocabulary and avoiding repetitive phrasing such as 'the company' or 'the manager' in every sentence.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including issues with verb tense ('I am doing work since two years'), articles ('the another department'), and word order ('I want not to leave'). While the meaning is generally clear, these errors are persistent and distract the reader. You rely almost exclusively on simple sentence structures. To reach a higher band, you need to demonstrate better control over complex sentence forms and improve your accuracy with basic grammar rules, such as subject-verb agreement and preposition usage.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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