Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-27

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear Sir,

I am writing this letter to inform you that, I have been in my current position since two years. I think that, I want to apply for higher position in the same company for career development.

During my two years experience, I have gained knowledge of managing team members, accomplishment of project work before the deadlines. Supporting staff in adhoc situation. Enhanced Personality development to deal with clients and stakeholders.

If I got that managerial position in different department, I would bring new ideas, which will benefit the company. such as, revising marketing procedure and policy to boost the sales. Following up of regular customer demands and lacking stocks through business intelligence. Full support to management in production and sales.

The

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the task achievement score. While you have addressed the three bullet points—mentioning your experience, the company's benefit, and your desire to stay—the ideas are underdeveloped and the letter is incomplete, ending abruptly with 'The'. To improve, you must expand on your points with specific examples and ensure the letter has a proper closing. The tone is generally appropriate for a formal letter, but the lack of development and the failure to meet the length requirement prevent a higher score.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The letter is organized into short paragraphs, which is a good start. However, the progression of ideas is hindered by the incomplete nature of the text. There is a lack of cohesive devices to link sentences and ideas smoothly. For example, the transition between your current experience and the proposed benefits is abrupt. To improve, use linking words such as 'furthermore', 'consequently', or 'in addition' to connect your thoughts. The paragraphing is present, but the overall structure is compromised by the unfinished final section.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is functional but limited. You rely on basic phrasing such as 'gained knowledge of' and 'bring new ideas'. There are also some awkward collocations, such as 'accomplishment of project work' (better: 'successfully completing projects') and 'lacking stocks' (better: 'inventory shortages'). To reach a higher band, you should aim for more precise professional terminology and avoid repetitive sentence structures. Expanding your range of business-related vocabulary will help you express your ideas with more sophistication and clarity.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

There are several grammatical errors that affect the flow of the letter. For instance, 'since two years' should be 'for two years'. The sentence 'If I got that managerial position...' uses an incorrect tense; 'If I were to obtain' or 'If I were given' would be more appropriate. Additionally, there are punctuation errors, such as unnecessary commas after 'that' and 'company'. The sentence structures are mostly simple, and the lack of complex sentences limits your ability to demonstrate grammatical range. Focus on subject-verb agreement and correct tense usage.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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