Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-27

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear sir,

I hope you are doing well.

I am writing this letter to request you to move me to another department within this company. As you know, it has been two years i joined this team and i am really enjoying it. Moving to different department would help me in my career development.

I have improved in a lot of skills while woking in this department such as, communication, teamwork, customer service and handling their complaints as well. Also, now i am experienced with working under pressure situations.

It will not be hard for mw to move to a new department as i can use my existing skills and experience to adapt the changes. The new department may also can benefit when I will share my ideas and plans for the company.

However, I do not want to go for any other comapny as this workplace gave me a lot and the environment of this company is so friendly. I want to develop my career within this business.

I would be greatful if you consider my request for departmental transfer.

Yours sincerely,

Kamaljeet Kaur

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

You have addressed all three bullet points in the prompt: describing your current learning, explaining the benefits of a transfer, and stating your desire to remain with the company. The tone is appropriate for a formal letter to a manager. However, the development of your ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, when discussing the benefits to the company, you mention 'sharing ideas and plans' but do not provide specific examples of how your skills would translate to a new department. Expanding on these points with more detail would help you achieve a higher band score.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The letter is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each focusing on a specific aspect of the prompt. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'Also', 'However', and 'In addition' to link your ideas. While the progression is clear, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat repetitive and mechanical. To improve, try to vary your linking words and ensure that the transition between sentences feels more natural. The paragraphing is appropriate for a formal letter, which helps the reader follow your argument easily.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey your message clearly. You use relevant professional terms like 'career development', 'departmental transfer', and 'workplace'. However, there are some spelling errors, such as 'woking' instead of 'working', 'mw' instead of 'me', and 'comapny' instead of 'company'. These minor slips do not impede communication but indicate a need for more careful proofreading. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more precise collocations and avoid repetitive phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While your meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as 'it has been two years i joined' (should be 'since I joined') and 'The new department may also can benefit' (double modal). Additionally, there are consistent issues with capitalization, specifically the lowercase 'i' when referring to yourself. While these errors rarely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and consistent capitalization will significantly improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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