Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-27

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Manager,

I am writing to request a transfer to Dairy Food Production department in your company.

Firstly, I appreciate your support and guidance I received over the last two years. I got a great opportunity to learn about entire production flow, rules and regulations related to food production sector. Consequently, safety and quality control procedures which I learned was very crucial.

I completed my degree last month and eager to join with Dairy Production department of your company. I guarantee my superior service and dedication for the success of this department by implementing my knowledge and skills to enhance product varieties with high standard quality parameters.

I decided to continue with this industry due to not only my personnel desire, but also I am fully confident in the sector as I am an Agriculture graduate specialized Livestock production. Therefore, I hope to do remarkable service further.

I would appreciate it, if you could facilitate me this opportunity. I am looking forward your prompt response.

Yours Sincerely,

Kumudi Jayakody.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The letter addresses all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly state what you have learned in your current role, explain the benefits of your transfer to the company, and provide reasons for wanting to stay within the organization. The tone is appropriate for a formal business letter. To reach a higher band, ensure that your ideas are more fully developed; for example, when discussing how the company would benefit, you could provide a more specific example of how your new degree or skills would solve a particular problem in the Dairy Food Production department.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The letter is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a closing. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'Consequently', and 'Therefore' to link your ideas. However, the flow between some sentences is slightly mechanical. For instance, the transition between your degree completion and your offer of service could be smoother. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different requirements of the task. To improve, try to vary your cohesive devices and ensure that the progression of ideas feels more natural rather than relying on standard transition words.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using industry-relevant terms like 'production flow', 'quality control procedures', and 'Livestock production'. There are some minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'join with' (should be 'join') and 'personnel desire' (should be 'personal desire'). Additionally, 'remarkable service' is slightly unnatural in this context. While these errors do not impede communication, expanding your range of more sophisticated, precise vocabulary would help you achieve a higher score. Focus on using collocations that sound more natural in a professional business context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'guidance I received' (missing 'that'), 'procedures which I learned was' (subject-verb agreement error: 'procedures' are plural), and 'facilitate me this opportunity' (incorrect verb pattern; 'facilitate' is not used this way). While these errors are noticeable, they do not prevent the reader from understanding your message. To improve, pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement and the correct usage of transitive verbs. Increasing the frequency of error-free complex sentences will help elevate your score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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