Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-27

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Respected Sir,

I hope this letter finds you well. I have been very grateful to work with this company. However, I was hoping to move to the sales department from administration sector. I have pretty much learned everything from answering calls to scheduling meetings.

I recently saw a job posting on the company's website. Since I already have been a part of the company for two years, I think it would be in best interest of the company as well as me to move me to a different department. It would be a better decision to promote me as I am already pretty much familiar with the company.

I have grown a lot within the company and I would want to grow more here rather than moving to a different company and starting over. Please take this under consideration and let me know what you think.

Thank you so much for your timw.

Regards,

Neel Patel

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The letter addresses all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly state your experience in the current role, suggest benefits for the company, and explain your desire to remain within the organization. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, when explaining how the company would benefit, you rely on vague statements like 'it would be in best interest of the company' rather than detailing specific skills you could bring to the sales department. To reach a higher band, provide more concrete examples of how your administrative experience translates into value for the sales team.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The letter follows a logical structure with a clear opening, body paragraphs, and a closing. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different requirements of the task. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat basic and repetitive. You rely heavily on simple transitions. To improve, try to incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more fluidly, such as 'consequently,' 'furthermore,' or 'given my background in administration.' The progression of ideas is clear, but the overall flow could be more sophisticated.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

Your vocabulary is adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and variety expected at higher levels. Phrases like 'pretty much learned everything' and 'pretty much familiar' are informal and repetitive. While you successfully communicate your message, the lexical range is limited to common, everyday language. To improve, aim for more professional and precise collocations. For example, instead of saying you 'learned everything,' you could describe 'gaining comprehensive knowledge of operational workflows.' Expanding your vocabulary to include more business-appropriate terminology will significantly enhance the professional tone of your correspondence.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is generally effective. There are some minor grammatical slips, such as 'I already have been a part of the company' (should be 'I have already been') and 'it would be in best interest' (missing an article). Punctuation is generally accurate, though there is a minor typo in the closing ('timw'). The errors present do not impede communication, but they do indicate a need for more careful proofreading to ensure consistent accuracy in tense usage and article placement.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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