Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-27

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Manager,

I am writing this letter to request my tranfer from data analysis department to machine learning department.

I have been working as a data analyst from last two years, where I have gained invaluable experience in understanding large data and deriving insight from the data.

Now I have enough experince of working with large datasets that would help me as a machine learning engineer when handling and exploring data for machine learning tasks. Moreover, from these past two years of experience I have learned what amount of data is necessary to derive important insights related to task which would help me as machine learning engineer to work with limited resources.

I have had a great time working for this firm from last two years, as it provides good work environment and a great work life balance. Because of that I would like to continue my career here in this company with new department.

I would be waiting for your reply on the matter.

Yours Faithfully,

Shivam Patel

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

You have addressed all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly stated your current experience, explained the benefits of your transfer to the machine learning department, and expressed your desire to remain with the company. The tone is appropriate for a formal letter to a manager. However, the development of your ideas is somewhat repetitive; for instance, you mention your two years of experience multiple times in a similar way. To reach a higher band, try to provide more specific examples of the skills you have acquired or the exact projects you have contributed to, which would make your argument for the transfer more persuasive and well-developed.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The letter follows a logical structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a closing. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the task. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat limited and occasionally mechanical. For example, you rely heavily on 'Moreover' and 'Because of that' to link ideas. To improve, try using a wider variety of transition words and ensure that the flow between sentences is smoother. The paragraphing is appropriate, but the overall progression of ideas could be more sophisticated to better guide the reader through your reasoning.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'invaluable experience', 'deriving insight', and 'limited resources'. However, there are some minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'tranfer' (spelling), 'from last two years' (should be 'for the last two years'), and 'with new department' (should be 'to a new department'). While these errors do not impede communication, they prevent the response from reaching a higher band. Expanding your vocabulary to include more precise professional collocations would enhance the quality of your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is generally effective. However, there are several grammatical inaccuracies, particularly with prepositions and articles, such as 'working as a data analyst from last two years' and 'in data analysis department'. Additionally, there are minor punctuation and spelling slips throughout the text. While these errors rarely impede communication, they indicate a need for more careful proofreading. To improve, focus on mastering the use of articles (a/the) and prepositions in professional contexts, and ensure that your verb tenses are consistently applied.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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