Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-27

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear Mr Thomas,

I am writing to discuss the possibility of moving to a different department within the company.

Firstly, as you know I work in the sales department. In this department I have learnt how to communicate and manage money. For instance, there was a customer that had an issue which involved paying a large amount of money and I handled the situation well enough for the lady to tip me.

One of the way the company can benefit from the skill i have developed in sales department is how to communicate with customers and my fellow co workers there by making the organisation grow more financially.

I have no plans of leaving the company any time soon because i would like to input the skill I have gained to make the organisation grow as well as build my career development.

I hope you will consider my request.

Yours Faithfully,

Ogunlana Oyindamola.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

You have addressed all three bullet points required by the prompt. You mentioned your learning in the sales department, suggested how the company would benefit from your transfer, and explained your desire to stay. However, the development of these ideas is quite limited. For instance, the example of receiving a tip from a customer is not particularly relevant to professional career development or departmental transfer. To improve, you should focus on transferable skills like data analysis, project management, or team leadership. The explanation of how the company would benefit is also vague; providing more specific examples of how your sales experience would add value to another department would strengthen your response significantly.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The letter follows a logical structure, with an appropriate opening and closing. You use basic paragraphing to separate your points. However, the use of cohesive devices is quite limited and sometimes mechanical. For example, you use 'Firstly' but fail to use other linking words to connect your ideas smoothly within the paragraphs. The transition between the introduction and the body paragraphs is functional but lacks sophistication. To reach a higher band, try to use a wider range of linking phrases such as 'Furthermore,' 'Consequently,' or 'In addition to this' to create a more natural flow between your sentences and ideas.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the range and precision required for a higher score. You rely on simple, repetitive language such as 'manage money' and 'make the organisation grow.' There are also some minor errors in word choice, such as 'input the skill,' which is not the correct collocation for this context. To improve, you should aim to use more professional, business-oriented vocabulary. Instead of 'manage money,' consider terms like 'financial oversight' or 'budget management.' Expanding your vocabulary to include more precise, topic-specific terms will help you convey your ideas more effectively.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent errors that occasionally distract the reader. For example, there are issues with subject-verb agreement ('One of the way') and punctuation/capitalization errors, such as the lowercase 'i' used throughout the text. Additionally, some sentences are slightly awkward, such as 'there by making the organisation grow more financially.' While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to lower the score. Focusing on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy and ensuring consistent capitalization will help improve your score in this area.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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