Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-27

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Madam,

I am writing to request about moving me on higher position because it is necessary for me to career development.

To begin with, currently I am working as a supervisor at your subway from last two years and I learned many useful things from that position like how to do work efficiently, calmly and how to handle difficult situations under pressure. Apart from that, I also learn how to work in a team, and it is also many other necessary skills which are essential for my job.

Now I want to become an assistant manager because I have all the qualities and skills for that position as well as it is also beneficial for company because that position is empty and they need to hire someone to assist the manager, so rather than hire someone new and teach him or her which result as waste of time and money, I think I am suitable for that position.

The main reason I want that place is because I want to work in the same company because all the employees are helpful and friendly. Moreover, this subway has perfect working environment.

I am looking to your prompt response.

Yours faithfully,

Rupinder Kaur.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

You have addressed all three bullet points required by the prompt. You described your current learning, suggested how the company would benefit from your move, and explained your loyalty to the company. However, the development of these points is somewhat limited. For example, while you mention that hiring someone new is a 'waste of time and money,' this could be expanded by explaining the specific value of your institutional knowledge. The tone is generally appropriate for a formal letter, though the opening sentence is slightly awkward. Overall, you have fulfilled the requirements of the task effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The letter is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your argument. You use some cohesive devices such as 'To begin with,' 'Apart from that,' and 'Moreover' to link your ideas. However, some transitions feel a bit mechanical or repetitive. The progression of ideas is logical, moving from your current experience to your future goals and finally your reasons for staying. To improve, try to vary your linking phrases and ensure that the connection between sentences is smoother, particularly in the second paragraph where the flow is slightly interrupted by the structure of your sentences.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

Your vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning, but it lacks the range and precision expected at higher bands. You rely on basic phrasing such as 'learned many useful things' and 'perfect working environment.' There are some minor inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'request about moving me on higher position' instead of 'request a promotion' or 'transfer to a higher position.' While your meaning is always clear, incorporating more specific professional terminology would enhance the quality of your writing and demonstrate a more sophisticated command of the language.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. For instance, 'I am working... from last two years' should be 'I have been working... for the last two years.' Additionally, there are issues with article usage and verb tense consistency, such as 'I also learn' instead of 'I also learned.' While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your message, they indicate a need for more careful proofreading and a better grasp of tense usage in formal writing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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