Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-28

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Mr. Adams,

I hope this letter finds you well. I am writing to you in regard to my interest in changing the department I am working in because I think it is essential for my professional progress.

I have been a software developer in the sales department for two years. As a result, I have become familiar with every part of the project, and there is nothing fresh for me to develop in this section.

However, I believe by moving to a new part of the corporation I will be able to challenge myself with new problems which will yield to progress in my expertise. Besides, I can be beneficial to the new section by providing my experience from the sales department.

Moreover, I would like to mention that I do not wish to leave this association due to a sense of commitment. In addition, this company has been genuinely comforting, safe and joyful. This is a feeling that I had not experienced in my previous jobs.

I hope my request can be granted. I am looking forward to hearing back from you.

Sincerely Yours,

Mahsa Fathi.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

You have addressed all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly stated what you learned in your current role, explained the benefits of your transfer to the company, and expressed your commitment to the organization. The tone is appropriate for a formal letter to a manager. To reach a higher band, you could provide more specific examples of the skills you have acquired or the exact nature of the 'new problems' you wish to tackle. Currently, the ideas are relevant but slightly general, which limits the depth of the response.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The letter is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs for each requirement, and a professional closing. You use transition signals such as 'However,' 'Besides,' and 'Moreover' to connect your ideas. While the flow is generally smooth, some transitions feel slightly mechanical. For instance, the transition between discussing your current role and the desire to move could be more fluid. Paragraphing is used effectively to separate the different points of the letter, which helps the reader follow your argument easily.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'professional progress,' 'commitment,' and 'corporation.' However, some word choices are slightly unnatural or imprecise. For example, 'yield to progress' is not a standard collocation; 'lead to professional growth' would be more accurate. Similarly, describing a company as 'joyful' is unusual in a professional context; 'rewarding' or 'positive' would be better suited. You have sufficient vocabulary to convey your meaning clearly, but more precise and sophisticated collocations would improve the score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, and your grammar is generally accurate. Most sentences are error-free, and your meaning is always clear. There are minor issues, such as 'the department I am working in' (which could be more formal as 'the department in which I am working') and 'yield to progress' (which is grammatically awkward). Punctuation is generally handled well, and the letter follows the standard conventions for formal correspondence. To improve, try incorporating a wider variety of complex grammatical structures, such as conditional sentences or passive voice, to demonstrate greater control.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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