Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-28

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Sir,

Hope this letter finds you in good health.

I am writing this letter to express my interest in getting transfer to different deparment in your organization.

Currently i am working and Operation Accountant in the resturant department. I have gained experiace in various task like PO, Invoice reverification, pettycash reconciliation under the guidance of Mr.Haitem, which has provided an complele operational task.

However, currently I beleive in moving to the Finance department in your Organization for my professional development. This will help me in gain experiance in different departments and also on my career development. With this shift the department would gain knowledge how the operation team works and will become easy for them to make an better forcasting report in proper details.

I would therefore be greatfull if you could consider my transfer to an new department.

Thank you gain in advance for considering my request.

With regards,

Shantunu Chowdhury

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

You have addressed all three bullet points required by the prompt: detailing your current learning, suggesting benefits for the company, and explaining your desire to stay. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, while you mention gaining experience in 'PO' and 'Invoice reverification', the explanation of how the company would benefit from your move is a bit vague. To improve, try to elaborate more on how your specific operational knowledge would directly improve the Finance department's forecasting accuracy. Your tone is appropriate for a formal letter to a manager, and the purpose of your communication is clear throughout the text.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The letter follows a logical structure with a clear opening and closing. You use basic paragraphing to separate your introduction, body, and conclusion. However, the use of cohesive devices is quite limited and occasionally mechanical. For example, the transition between your current role and your desire to move is abrupt. To reach a higher band, try to use a wider variety of linking words and phrases (e.g., 'consequently', 'furthermore', 'in addition to this') to connect your ideas more fluidly. The progression of ideas is generally easy to follow, but the overall flow could be improved with more sophisticated transitions.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is adequate for the task, but it is somewhat repetitive and contains several spelling errors, such as 'deparment', 'experiace', 'complele', 'beleive', 'greatfull', and 'forcasting'. These errors are noticeable and detract from the professional tone of the letter. While you attempt to use industry-specific terms like 'reconciliation' and 'operational task', the range of vocabulary is limited. To improve, focus on proofreading your work to eliminate basic spelling mistakes and try to incorporate more precise professional terminology to describe your career aspirations and the benefits you bring to the company.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures, but there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation that occasionally impede readability. For example, 'I am writing this letter to express my interest in getting transfer to different deparment' contains errors in article usage and word form. Additionally, there are issues with subject-verb agreement and missing articles throughout the text (e.g., 'make an better forcasting report'). While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors suggests a need for more careful attention to basic grammatical rules, particularly regarding articles and prepositions.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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