Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-28

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear, Sir

I am writing regarding job position change in our company. As I have completed my masters in HR strategies, and also we do have vacancy of this department I am willing to move their.

To begin with, in my current position I have gain knowledge about invoices, billing, taxes, and how to make paychecks through our company guide book, that assist me great.

Furthermore, if you consider me move to different department I will surely concentrate on my training and methods of HR related rules and regulations, and later I will help in to train other new employees in effective way, As a result we will create stronger team for our company, which will be beneficial for our company growth and my future career as this related to my study.

Finally, I do not want to abandon this company as it has provide me enough knowledge to achieve goals and help me to growth my self from the zero. In future, I want to contribute my strength and skills to the organization.

I would appreciate your attention to this matter and look forward to receiving your response.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The letter addresses all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly state what you have learned in your current role, explain the benefits to the company of your transfer, and express your commitment to the organization. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, while you mention learning about 'invoices' and 'taxes', the explanation of how these skills translate to an HR role could be more explicit. The tone is generally appropriate for a formal letter, though the opening 'Dear, Sir' is slightly unconventional; 'Dear Sir or Madam' or 'Dear [Manager's Name]' would be more standard in a professional context.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The letter is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each focusing on a specific requirement of the task. You use some cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'Furthermore', and 'Finally' to signal the progression of your ideas. However, some of these transitions feel a bit mechanical, and the flow between sentences is occasionally hindered by grammatical errors. For example, the sentence 'As a result we will create stronger team' lacks a determiner, which disrupts the smooth reading of the paragraph. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring they are used more naturally would enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

Your vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing you to communicate your intentions clearly. You use some relevant professional terminology like 'HR strategies', 'regulations', and 'organization'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'move their' (should be 'move there'), 'growth my self' (should be 'grow myself'), and 'from the zero' (should be 'from scratch'). These errors indicate a need for more precise control over word forms and common English collocations. Expanding your range of professional vocabulary would help you achieve a higher band score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is a positive step. However, there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, particularly with verb tenses and article usage. Examples include 'I have gain knowledge' (should be 'have gained'), 'it has provide me' (should be 'has provided'), and 'we do have vacancy' (should be 'there is a vacancy'). While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your message, they occur frequently enough to impact the overall accuracy of your writing. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and consistent tense usage will significantly improve your score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.