Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-29

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear manager,

I hope you are doing well, I am Sukh and working as assistant clerk in your company. But now i want to move to another department within your company for my career improvements. I would like to move marketing department.

In my current position, Even i got chance to learn a lot skills under clerk role, i want to improve my career by enter in different department within same company. I learned a lot things from current job such as organizing and enter paper and technical skills of computer. Therefore, company could also get benefits by changing my current job with another sector. Already, i have improved my computer skills, so that it would be easy for me to join marketing sector. Because it also required technical skills to my designs for marketing. Moreover, desired sectors can be helpful to change career.

Furthermore, i would prefer to stay with this company for long time , due to company is providing good benefits such as bonus, high salary, cooperative staff .Then, these factors allow me to work with same company. Could you please let me know about moving current role to different one .Thank you so much for your understanding and support.

Your faithfully,

Sukh.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The letter addresses all three bullet points: skills learned, benefits to the company, and reasons for staying. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For example, the explanation of how the company would benefit from your move to marketing is vague, relying on general statements like 'it also required technical skills to my designs'. To reach a higher band, you should provide more specific examples of how your current skills (such as data entry or organization) would translate into tangible value for the marketing department. The tone is generally appropriate for a formal letter, though the opening and closing could be more professional.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The letter is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your argument. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore', 'Therefore', and 'Moreover' to link ideas. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly unnatural, such as starting a sentence with 'Already, i have improved...'. Additionally, some referencing is unclear, particularly in the second paragraph where the connection between your current role and the marketing department's needs is not fully articulated. Improving the flow between sentences would enhance the overall coherence of the letter.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks variety and precision. You rely on basic terms like 'good benefits', 'a lot skills', and 'a lot things'. There are also some errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'enter paper' (likely meaning data entry) and 'changing my current job with another sector'. To improve, you should aim to use more specific professional terminology related to your job functions and career development. While the meaning is generally clear, the limited range of vocabulary prevents a higher score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

There is a mix of simple and some attempted complex sentence structures, but the accuracy is inconsistent. Frequent errors include missing articles ('move to marketing department'), incorrect verb forms ('working as assistant clerk'), and punctuation issues (e.g., 'Dear manager,' instead of 'Dear [Name],'). There are also issues with subject-verb agreement and word order, such as 'it would be easy for me to join marketing sector'. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to be noticeable and suggest a need for more careful proofreading.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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