Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-29

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear sir

i want to use this medium to express my immense gratitude to your company for the opportunity given to me to improve myself. I want to also use this opportunity to formally express my intention to move from courier service department to a front office department.

in my present position i work primarily on delivery of samples from admission wad to the laboratory for testing, it was both challenging and rewarding, i have learn good communication skill, better patient relationship, most importantly i have understood importance of delivering sample fat to the laboratory in saving patients life.

these attribute and skills, i believe if applied to the position am seeking to be changed to, will improve the services of the hospital. i also had a part-time studies which major in human resource development which i believe if the knowledge is applied will also help the hospital to run efficiently.

I am not intending to leave the company because they have helped assisting with funds during my part-time studies and i can not be ungrateful for that kindness, i want to use this way to pay back for the assistance.

I hope your kind approval.

Yours faithfully

Origbakpor Fidelis

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

You have addressed all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly stated what you learned in your current role, explained the benefits of your transfer, and provided a valid reason for staying with the company. The tone is generally appropriate for a formal letter to a manager. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited; for instance, the explanation of how your human resources studies would benefit the hospital is a bit vague. Expanding on specific ways your new skills could be applied would help to fully develop your ideas and reach a higher band score.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The letter is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your argument. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'in my present position' and 'these attribute and skills', to link ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly inaccurate, such as the transition 'most importantly i have understood'. Additionally, some sentences are run-on or lack proper punctuation, which occasionally disrupts the flow of information. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring consistent paragraph structure would enhance the overall coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'immense gratitude', 'formally express', and 'efficiently'. There are some instances of awkward phrasing, such as 'delivering sample fat' (likely a typo for 'fast') and 'admission wad' (likely 'ward'). You also have some minor errors in word choice, such as 'I hope your kind approval' instead of 'I hope for your kind approval'. While these errors do not impede communication, they indicate a need for more precise control over vocabulary and collocations to reach a higher band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation. Common issues include missing articles (e.g., 'to front office department'), incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'i have learn'), and capitalization errors (e.g., 'i' instead of 'I'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with several comma splices where full stops or semicolons would be more appropriate. While the meaning is generally clear, these persistent errors in basic grammar and sentence construction prevent the writing from achieving a higher score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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