Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-29

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear Manager,

I hope you are doing well. I am writing a letter you regarding I want to transfer in other development in same oraganization, which is beneficial for career growth. I joined Holiday Inn food department two years ago as a server. I learned alot of things from that position like how to communicate with customers, how to greet with customers , and many more.

Moreover, I kindly request you to I want to change my position in Hospitality as a front desk staff, which would be fruitful for me. Because I want to learn how to book rooms and computer skills, which would be grateful for me. Therefore, I want to move in other sector.

Furthermore, why I do not want leave this comapny because staff is good. Manager and Supervisor gives respect to everyones as well they treat equally, which I like too much. They provide lots of benefits to staff.

Thank you for your attention to this matter.

Yours Faithfully,

Madhu Bala

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

You have addressed all three bullet points required by the prompt: describing your current experience, suggesting benefits for the company, and explaining your desire to stay. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For example, when explaining the benefits of your transfer, you focus primarily on your own learning rather than how the company would specifically benefit from your new skills. To reach a higher band, ensure that your ideas are more fully extended and focused on the professional context of the request. The tone is generally appropriate for a formal letter, though the structure could be more refined.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The letter is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your points. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'Moreover', 'Furthermore', and 'Therefore' to link your ideas. However, the transition between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and there are instances where the flow is interrupted by grammatical errors. For instance, the transition in the third paragraph ('Furthermore, why I do not want leave...') is awkward and lacks a smooth connection to the previous paragraph. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus would improve the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing you to communicate your intentions clearly. You use some relevant professional terms like 'career development', 'transfer', and 'hospitality'. However, there are several instances of word-choice errors and awkward phrasing, such as 'I am writing a letter you regarding I want to transfer' and 'which would be grateful for me'. These errors occasionally distract the reader. To improve, focus on using more precise collocations and ensure that your word forms are accurate. Expanding your range of professional vocabulary will help you achieve a higher score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

You demonstrate a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Common issues include missing prepositions ('transfer in other development'), incorrect verb forms ('I want to change my position... which would be grateful'), and subject-verb agreement errors ('Manager and Supervisor gives respect'). While these errors do not completely prevent the reader from understanding your message, they are frequent enough to cause some difficulty. You should focus on proofreading for basic sentence construction, specifically ensuring that your verbs and pronouns are used correctly in complex sentences.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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