Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-29

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear manager ,

I am writing this letter regarding department change for my career development to move to the another department .

I started my job under your leadership almost two years ago in this department when this department was starting . I moved here from another department . I learned many skills from this sector like troubleshoot the problem , learn the forklift, which i never drove .

Company can take advantage from my experience in the new department , which are still in the phase one of the starting . I understand how we can start up what are the need . Because of the all the system running on the one software .

I do not want to leave the this company due to many reason first reason for that is this is multi national company there is very good growth in the future . I joined this company as a temporary worker but now i am a full time worker .

I am greatful for your support .

I am looking forward from you about this.

your faitfully , Brar

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The letter addresses all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly state what you have learned, explain the benefits of your transfer, and express your commitment to the company. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, when discussing the benefits to the company, the explanation is vague ('I understand how we can start up what are the need'). To improve, you should provide more specific examples of how your current skills would translate into value for the new department. The tone is generally appropriate for a formal letter, though it could be more professional in its phrasing.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The letter is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your points. However, the use of cohesive devices is quite limited and sometimes mechanical. For example, you rely heavily on simple sentence structures and repetitive transitions like 'I am' or 'I do not'. The logical flow between sentences could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words such as 'furthermore', 'consequently', or 'in addition'. While the overall message is clear, the lack of sophisticated transitions makes the writing feel a bit disjointed at times.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks variety and precision. You use basic terms like 'troubleshoot the problem' and 'good growth', which are functional but not particularly sophisticated. There are also some minor errors in word choice and phrasing, such as 'this sector' (when referring to a department) and 'looking forward from you' (the correct idiom is 'looking forward to hearing from you'). To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more specific professional terminology related to your industry and avoid repetitive phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Common issues include missing articles ('the another department', 'the this company'), incorrect verb forms ('troubleshoot the problem' instead of 'troubleshooting problems'), and punctuation errors. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to lower the score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles will significantly improve the accuracy of your writing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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