Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-30

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Murry,

I am writing to express my interest in trasition role from current assisting supervisor role to assisting manger role. I would be much obliged if you could consider me for this change.

I have been working at your company for the past two years as a processing specialist , during which I learnt the process of making shift schedule, checking inventory, generating account statement and ledgers. In addition, I have also helped the comapny in generating profits by instilling my ideas into sales.

Therefore, having mastered some of the ways to promote our company to better position I would be of great help. Moreover, I have known all of our clients and hence I could assist you with preparing our meeting agenda and sales strategy to bring more business.

I do not wish to leave this firm as it has taught some great value and it was a pioneer for my career. I have also build a family bond with our employees and staff members and it is great team to work with.

I request you if you could kindly me for this role. I would be honoured to serve you for a longer time.

Yours faithfully,

Susan Maina

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The letter addresses all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly state what you have learned (shift scheduling, inventory, ledgers), explain the benefits of your transfer (assisting with meeting agendas and sales strategy), and express your loyalty to the company. The tone is generally appropriate for a formal request to a manager. However, the purpose of the letter is slightly muddled in the introduction; you mention moving to an 'assisting manager role' but the prompt asks for a move to a 'different department'. Clarifying the specific department would have strengthened the response.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The letter is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each focusing on a specific requirement of the task. You use transition words such as 'In addition', 'Therefore', and 'Moreover' to connect your ideas. While the flow is generally good, some transitions feel slightly mechanical or forced. For instance, the transition 'Therefore, having mastered some of the ways...' is a bit abrupt in its connection to the previous paragraph. Overall, the progression of ideas is easy to follow, and the paragraphing is used effectively to separate the different points of the letter.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for this task, using terms like 'instilling my ideas', 'mastered', and 'pioneer'. However, there are several spelling errors ('trasition', 'manger', 'comapny') and some awkward phrasing, such as 'trasition role' instead of 'transitioning to a role'. While these errors do not impede communication, they do limit the score. To reach a higher band, focus on more precise collocations and ensure careful proofreading to eliminate basic spelling mistakes that detract from the professional tone of your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as 'I have been working... during which I learnt...' and 'I do not wish to leave... as it has taught...'. There are several grammatical slips, such as 'I request you if you could kindly me for this role' (missing verb) and 'it has taught some great value' (should be 'taught me' or 'provided great value'). While these errors are noticeable, the meaning remains clear throughout the letter. Increasing the variety of complex structures and ensuring subject-verb agreement will help improve your score in this area.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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