Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-30

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Mary,

Hope you are doing well. I just came across a job posting of senior support worker on information board. Here I want to show my interest in applying for this position. I am still getting same position in other companies as well but I really want to stay in this same company where i m serving from past 12 years.

As being a honest employee of this company I genuinely believe that I can serve way more better. However I was rostered in all these departments since I joined and are pretty much familiar to me. So I believe I can definitely serve in tremendous manner if I get opportunity to prove it.

Learning all skills from my seniors had helped me a lot till now. I can apply and work better with the team to keep moving smoothly under same premises. I would remark that I do not want to leave this company and want to stay longer.

Please acknowledge this request and looking forward for your response on this. Please be free to contact for any further queries.

Yours Sincerely

Dhayanvi

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The letter addresses all three bullet points, but the development is somewhat superficial. You mention learning skills from seniors, but you do not specify what those skills are. Similarly, while you suggest you can serve in a 'tremendous manner' in a new department, you do not explain how the company would specifically benefit from your transfer. The tone is generally appropriate for a formal letter, though the opening is slightly informal. To improve, ensure you provide concrete examples of your contributions and specific reasons why your transfer would add value to the new department, rather than relying on general statements.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The letter is organised into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your intent. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally repetitive. For example, the transition between the second and third paragraphs feels abrupt. While you use some linking words like 'However' and 'So', the flow between sentences could be improved by using a wider variety of cohesive devices to connect your ideas more naturally. The referencing is generally clear, but the overall progression of ideas lacks the sophistication required for a higher band score.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety needed for a higher score. You rely on basic phrasing such as 'serve way more better' (which is grammatically incorrect) and 'keep moving smoothly'. There are also some awkward collocations, such as 'rostered in all these departments'. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more professional and specific terminology related to career development and workplace performance. Avoid informal phrasing like 'way more better' and focus on using more precise adjectives and verbs to describe your professional experience and intentions.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

There are several grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow of your writing. You have issues with subject-verb agreement and article usage, such as 'I just came across a job posting of senior support worker' (missing 'a') and 'I am still getting same position' (missing 'the'). Additionally, 'serve way more better' is a non-standard comparative structure. While you attempt some complex sentences, they are often marred by these errors. You should focus on mastering basic sentence structures and ensuring correct article and preposition usage before attempting more complex grammatical forms.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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