Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-30

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Tim,

i hope you’re doing well.i am writing regarding transfer in other departments for my career which is important decision.

However, currently i am working in Sales accounting Department from last one year.i believe that i am enjoying to work in this department because My colleagues are so friendly and supportive and i learned so many new skills from them such as marketing and social interaction skills but for my career i would like to move in Store Supervision Department.even-though my transfer would be beneficial for company because i have excellent experience for team management and marketing and also i am going to Study in Business development Which needs more practical knowledge and experience.

Moreover, I don’t prefer to leave this company because i have a good understanding and better attachment with my teammates so i would like to request you to help me out with this moving forward for my future.

I hope i will not disappoint me. I look forward to your response.

Yours sincerely,

Maitri

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

You have addressed all three bullet points required by the prompt. You mentioned your current skills, explained the benefits of your transfer to the company, and clarified your desire to stay within the organization. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, while you mention 'team management' and 'marketing' as benefits, you could have provided more specific examples of how these skills would translate to the 'Store Supervision Department' to make your argument more persuasive. The tone is generally appropriate for a formal letter, though it could be slightly more professional in its phrasing.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The letter follows a logical structure, with each paragraph addressing a specific part of the task. You use basic cohesive devices like 'However', 'Moreover', and 'Therefore' (implied). However, the flow between sentences is sometimes hindered by punctuation errors, such as missing spaces after periods and the inconsistent use of capitalization (e.g., 'i' instead of 'I'). The paragraphing is clear, but the transition between the introduction and the body could be smoother to improve the overall readability of the letter.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey your message, using terms like 'career development', 'supportive', and 'practical knowledge'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'transfer in other departments' (should be 'transfer to') and 'better attachment' (which sounds unnatural in a professional context). To reach a higher band, try to use more precise professional collocations and ensure that your vocabulary is consistently appropriate for a workplace communication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent errors in basic grammar and punctuation. Common issues include the failure to capitalize the personal pronoun 'I', missing spaces after full stops, and errors in preposition usage (e.g., 'working in... from last one year'). These errors are noticeable and occur throughout the text. To improve, focus on proofreading for basic punctuation and subject-verb agreement, as these errors currently distract from the quality of your writing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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