Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-31

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Sir/Madam

I am writing you to request about a change that I need in my career within the company itself. Its been more than two years I am working here and now I am looking for a new opportunity. In my present career , I have learned wide range of things like how to communicate with coworkers, time management ,team cooperation and so on.

In addition, I already worked in the marketing department so long and if I can get a chance to work in the management level on that way i can contribute lot of things to the organization. Moreover, the main benefit will be I can increase the selling of products in a short span of time as i already have experience in marketing. Even, I know how to attract customers aganist the goods. Further, due to the reputation and employee benefits provided by this company make me to stay here for long term.I

I look forward to hearing from you.

Best regards

Anju

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The letter addresses all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly state what you have learned, suggest how the company would benefit from your move, and explain your desire to remain with the firm. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the explanation of how you would contribute to the management level is quite vague, relying on general phrases like 'contribute lot of things'. To reach a higher band, you should provide more specific examples of your skills or concrete ways you would add value in the new department. The tone is generally appropriate for a formal letter, though some phrasing is slightly informal.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The letter is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your argument. You use some cohesive devices such as 'In addition', 'Moreover', and 'Further' to link your ideas. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly unnatural, such as the transition 'Even, I know how to attract customers'. Additionally, there is a minor error in paragraph structure where a stray 'I' appears at the end of the penultimate paragraph. Improving the variety and natural flow of your linking words would help create a more seamless progression of ideas throughout the text.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing you to convey your message clearly. You use some relevant business-related terms like 'career development', 'organization', and 'marketing department'. However, there are instances of imprecise word choice and awkward collocations, such as 'request about a change', 'increase the selling of products', and 'attract customers aganist the goods'. These errors occasionally hinder the precision of your writing. To improve, focus on learning common business collocations and ensuring that your word choices are contextually accurate rather than relying on direct translations or general terms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that affect the flow. Examples include 'I am writing you to request', 'Its been more than two years I am working here', and 'make me to stay here'. These errors, while not preventing communication, are noticeable and occur throughout the text. You should focus on subject-verb agreement, correct preposition usage, and the proper construction of complex sentences. Proofreading for basic tense consistency and sentence structure would significantly improve the accuracy of your writing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.