Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-31

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Afrin khalifa

XYZ company

23-5-2026

Dear sahil sir ,

Manager of XYZ company

Hello sir good evening, today I write the letter regarding my promotion. From past 2 years I worked in your company in the same department, i suddenly realised that for my better future I have to be get a promotion from your company side .

I am willing for these new opportunity and I definitely sure that I give my 101% on this new post and their work. There is few reason which is must need to understand that I must b deserve a new post in your company because I have an well enough working experience of 2 years which they prooved I am capable to take another high post work responsibility.

I hope you considered my application and get a positive response from your end of the side .

Your sincerely

Thank you

Afrin khalifa

XYZ company

[redacted email]

[redacted phone]

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to address the specific requirements of the prompt. The instructions asked you to write to your manager about moving to a different department for career development. However, your letter focuses entirely on requesting a 'promotion' and a 'new post' within your current department. You did not explain what you have learned in your present job, nor did you suggest how the company would benefit from your move to a different department. Furthermore, you failed to explain why you wish to stay at the company. Because the content does not align with the task instructions, it is considered largely off-topic.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The letter lacks a logical structure appropriate for a formal request. The paragraphing is inconsistent, and the flow of ideas is disjointed. While you use some basic cohesive devices like 'because' and 'I hope', the overall progression of the letter is unclear. The inclusion of personal contact details and a date at the beginning and end is unnecessary for this task and disrupts the formal tone. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear purpose related to the bullet points provided in the prompt.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is very limited and often inaccurate. Phrases like 'get a promotion from your company side' and 'end of the side' are unnatural and do not reflect the formal tone required for a business letter. There are also issues with word choice, such as 'prooved' (spelling error) and 'well enough working experience'. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to express professional intentions clearly, relying heavily on simple, repetitive language that hinders the professional impact of your request.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'I suddenly realised that for my better future I have to be get a promotion', 'There is few reason which is must need to understand', and 'I definitely sure that I give my 101%'. The sentence structures are mostly simple, and there is a lack of control over verb tenses and subject-verb agreement. To reach a higher band, you need to focus on basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors in tense and word order.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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