Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-31

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Dear Sir,

I am writing to express my interest for higher position in a workplace.

I joined this company as a Team member, after year of hardworking, I got promoted as a Shift manager, where I learned how to manage team for task completion, moreover I am also placing the order for store and then do inventory to manage the stuff according to requirements.

In all these duration, I grow a lot and know I feel I should promote for General manager position

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, reaching only 83 words. Consequently, the task is only partially addressed. While the letter mentions the current role and expresses a desire for a new position, it fails to address the specific bullet points regarding how the company would benefit from the move and why you wish to remain in the company. The content is significantly underdeveloped, and the tone is not entirely appropriate for a formal business letter. To improve, you must expand on each bullet point with specific details and ensure the response meets the length requirement.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The letter is very brief, making it difficult to establish a clear logical progression. While there is a basic attempt at paragraphing, the transitions between ideas are abrupt. The use of cohesive devices is limited to basic connectors like 'moreover', which are used mechanically. The overall structure lacks the necessary development to demonstrate a clear flow of information. To improve, you should use a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single, well-developed idea that connects logically to the next.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is basic and repetitive, which limits the ability to convey professional intent effectively. Phrases such as 'hardworking' and 'manage team' are functional but lack the sophistication expected in a formal career-related letter. There are also errors in word choice, such as 'In all these duration' (should be 'During this time') and 'do inventory to manage the stuff' (should be 'manage the stock/inventory'). To achieve a higher band, you should incorporate more precise, professional terminology related to business and career development.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response relies on simple sentence structures with frequent grammatical errors. Examples include 'interest for higher position' (should be 'interest in a higher position'), 'after year of hardworking' (should be 'after a year of hard work'), and 'know I feel' (should be 'now I feel'). These errors, combined with the lack of complex sentence structures, hinder the clarity of the message. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, including correct article usage and verb tense consistency, before attempting more complex grammatical structures.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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