Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-31

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Manager,

I'm writing this letter to request you to consider my profile for the new Data Analyst position listed on the company's career site. Currently, I'm working as a Junior Data Engineer in the designing team. This position gives me a depth knowledge of the field and teaches me many essential skills. I'm proud to say that I'm able to create a data chart without any peers support.

Shifting me to developer team as a Data Analyst, I would be helpful in many ways. Since I know the basic structure of the web designing and data optimization, these skills help me to contribute effectively in the developer team. Furthermore, my profile fully matches the job descriptions mentioned on the career site. As you know that the developer team is struggling for the data optimization, offering me this position would helps team to encounter this problem.

Since the company has a great work environment and good employment policies, I would like to continue my work with the company. Also, there is a good opportunities to work with talented people.

Therefore, I'm request you to consider my profile for the data analyst position.

Thanks for your time and consideration. I look forward to your response.

Yours Faithfully,

Ketul Patel

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The letter addresses all three bullet points of the prompt. You clearly state what you have learned, explain the benefits to the company, and express your desire to remain with the firm. The tone is appropriate for a formal letter to a manager. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For example, when explaining the benefits of your move, you mention 'data optimization' but do not provide specific examples of how your current skills would solve the developer team's struggles. Expanding on these points with more concrete detail would help you reach a higher band score.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The letter is logically organized into distinct paragraphs, each focusing on a specific requirement of the task. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore', 'Since', and 'Therefore' to link ideas. However, the flow between sentences is occasionally mechanical. For instance, the transition between the first and second paragraph could be smoother. Additionally, some referencing is slightly unclear, such as the use of 'these skills' which refers back to a list of skills that were not explicitly detailed. Overall, the message is easy to follow, but the use of cohesive devices could be more varied and natural.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'career development', 'data optimization', and 'employment policies'. There are some minor inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'depth knowledge' (should be 'in-depth knowledge') and 'peers support' (should be 'peer support'). You also repeat the phrase 'consider my profile' twice, which limits the variety of your language. To improve, try to use more precise collocations and avoid repetitive phrasing. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning clearly, it lacks the sophistication required for higher bands.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors that occur throughout the text. Examples include 'would be helpful' (should be 'would be helpful to the team'), 'would helps team' (should be 'would help the team'), and 'I'm request you' (should be 'I am requesting'). There are also minor issues with article usage and subject-verb agreement. While these errors do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on proofreading for basic verb forms and articles will significantly improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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