Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-31

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear MR. Johan,

I hope you are doing well. I am writing this to request an opportunity to transfer my department within the company for further development of my career.

I am working as a safety advisor for past two years, I developed several crucial skills such as smooth communication with customers, arranging business polices, and proper safety procedure. I am capable to handle different situation in a smooth flow.

If I get promoted to operational department, not only it will be beneficial for myself but also it will significantly help the company. To explain it, I will need less training time as compared to new hire because I already know about the polices and proper work culture.

I do not want to leave this firm, I am deeply connected with all the staff members as a family. Moreover, the management is very supportive, always ready to tackle any concerns, it is very easy to gain knowledge in this company.

Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward for a prompt reply.

Your faithfully,

Simran.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The letter covers all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly state your current experience, explain the benefits of your transfer to the company, and express your loyalty to the organization. The tone is appropriate for a formal business letter. To improve, you could provide more specific examples of the 'crucial skills' you have learned or detail exactly how your transition to the operational department would add value, rather than just mentioning training time. This would help develop your ideas further and move the response toward a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The letter is logically organized with clear paragraphing. Each paragraph focuses on a specific point from the prompt, which helps the reader follow your argument easily. You use some cohesive devices like 'Moreover' and 'To explain it' to link ideas. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical or could be more sophisticated. For instance, the connection between your current role and the proposed transfer could be smoother. Overall, the progression of ideas is clear, and the structure is appropriate for a formal request letter.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for this task, such as 'crucial skills', 'beneficial', and 'consideration'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'transfer my department' (should be 'transfer to a different department') and 'arranging business polices' (should be 'implementing company policies'). While these errors do not impede communication, they indicate a need for more precise vocabulary usage. Expanding your range of professional collocations would help you achieve a higher score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'I am working as a safety advisor for past two years' (should be 'have been working... for the past two years') and 'I am capable to handle' (should be 'capable of handling'). Additionally, there are some punctuation issues, such as comma splices in the third and fourth paragraphs. While these errors are noticeable, they do not prevent the reader from understanding your message. Focusing on verb tenses and prepositional phrases will improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.