Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-31

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 7.0)

Dear Thomas,

I am delighted to have worked under your leadership at Dawson Motors for the last two years.

I'm considering a transfer to the finance department to upskill in my career. So far, I have learned a lot about sales, and I can close the deal within the 3-second rule. For the last 6 months, the top seller award for car sales has been under my name, which has propelled my success in the company.

Although my starting role in sales has been fruitful for me; however, I have a sheer interest in finance, as I completed my master's in finance. During my internship during my master's at Ford Motor in the finance department, I managed the company's financial portfolio.

Dawson Motors is one of the top 5 companies in our region, with a reputation for being a company that increases the chance of accelerating my career to the next level. Moreover, the friendly staff and perks for employees attract my keen interest in the company for a long period of time.

I look forward to getting your recommendation for moving to a different department.

Yours sincerely,

Nakul Maria

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

You have addressed all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly stated what you learned in sales, explained the benefits of your transfer to finance, and expressed your commitment to the company. The tone is appropriate for a formal letter to a manager. However, the development of the second bullet point—how the company benefits—is slightly underdeveloped. While you mention your master's degree and internship, explicitly linking your specific skills to the needs of the finance department would have strengthened the argument. Overall, the response is relevant and fulfills the requirements of the task effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The letter is logically organized with clear paragraphing. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the prompt, which helps the reader follow your argument. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Although', 'Moreover', and 'So far' to link ideas. However, there is a minor error in the use of 'Although' combined with 'however' in the third paragraph, which is redundant and slightly disrupts the flow. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring they are used correctly would elevate the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 7.0

You demonstrate a good range of vocabulary, such as 'upskill', 'propelled', 'fruitful', and 'financial portfolio'. These terms are used accurately and fit the context of a professional letter. There are no significant spelling or word-choice errors that impede communication. To reach a higher band, you could incorporate more sophisticated collocations or idiomatic expressions relevant to a business setting, such as 'leverage my expertise' or 'contribute to the strategic goals' of the department.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 7.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures effectively. Most of your sentences are clear and error-free. There is a minor grammatical error in the third paragraph: 'Although my starting role in sales has been fruitful for me; however, I have a sheer interest...' The use of 'although' and 'however' in the same sentence is grammatically incorrect. Aside from this, your control over punctuation and verb tenses is generally strong, and your meaning is always clear to the reader.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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