Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

  • say what you have learned in your present job
  • suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
  • explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Manager,

I am writing to request transfer from current department to another department within the company.

I have joined this company as a junior supply chain coordinator two years ago and I have learn a lot from this company. It is also help me to enhance my skills and knowledge in supply chain sector. I have learned about ERP, Power BI and how to mitigate the issue in a effective way. Apart from that I have also learned about coordination from my seniors. However, now I would like to join supply chain analyst department and apply my computer skills and knowledge for smooth running of organization.

During these time, I have develop my technical skills and I was learned about responsibilities and duties of supply chain analyst in our company. So now this is the best time use my skill and knowledge in data analyst department.

There are ample reasons for not leaving this organization. First of all , i like the work environment of this company and I have also got efficient peers and seniors who are always ready to assist me in needy situation. For this reason ,I would like to secure my position in our company for a long time.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Your sincerely,

Dipali Rabari

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response7.0
Coherence and Cohesion6.5
Lexical Resource6.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.5
Overall6.5

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The letter addresses all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly state what you have learned, explain the benefits to the company of your transfer, and express your commitment to the organization. The tone is appropriate for a formal business letter. However, the development of ideas is somewhat repetitive, particularly regarding your desire to move to the analyst department. To reach a higher band, ensure that the benefits to the company are more explicitly linked to your specific skills rather than just stating you want to apply them. Overall, the task is fulfilled effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The letter is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each focusing on a specific requirement of the prompt. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'Apart from that', 'However', and 'First of all' to link your ideas. While the progression is clear, the flow between some sentences feels slightly mechanical. To improve, try to vary your transition words and ensure that referencing (e.g., 'this company', 'these time') is more precise. The paragraphing is appropriate for a formal letter, which helps the reader follow your argument easily.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using industry-relevant terms like 'supply chain coordinator', 'ERP', and 'mitigate'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'mitigate the issue in a effective way' (should be 'an effective way') and 'in needy situation' (should be 'in times of need'). There is also some repetition of basic words like 'company' and 'skills'. Expanding your vocabulary to include more precise professional collocations would help elevate your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Examples include 'I have joined... two years ago' (should be 'I joined... two years ago'), 'It is also help me' (should be 'It has also helped me'), and 'I was learned' (should be 'I learned'). While these errors do not impede overall communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on verb tense consistency and subject-verb agreement will significantly improve the accuracy of your writing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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