Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Manager,

I hope this message finds you well. I am writing to express my interest to a marketing department for my career development.

Since, I have been working in a customer service department for the past two years, I have developed professional communication and interpersonal skills. Apart from that, I have learned how to build strong business relationships with customers and solve their queries in a more effective way. At present, I am leading a team of twelve people, enables me to improve my leadership skills and encourage cooperation between team members.

I believe the company could also benefit from my moving. As I am long term employee of the company and known about company's policies and procedures. This experience would allow me to fit into the new role quickly and contribute more efficiently to the company.

I am interested in improving my career prospects by remaining in this company, as I have built good relationships with senior management and familiar with the company's environment.

I greatly appreciate your understanding. I hope you would consider my request favorably and discuss this matter further at your convenience.

Yours sincerely,

Harmeet

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The letter successfully addresses all three bullet points of the prompt. You clearly outline the skills gained in your current role, explain the benefits of your transfer to the company, and provide a logical reason for wanting to stay. The tone is appropriate for a formal business letter. To reach a higher band, ensure that your ideas are fully developed; for instance, when mentioning the benefits to the company, you could provide a more specific example of how your current knowledge would translate into a marketing context to make your argument more persuasive.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The letter is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a closing. Each paragraph focuses on a specific requirement of the task. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Apart from that' and 'As I am', which help the flow. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical, and the connection between sentences could be smoother. For example, the sentence 'Since, I have been working...' is slightly awkward due to the comma placement and the use of 'Since' as a connector here. Improving the variety of linking words would enhance the overall flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'career development', 'interpersonal skills', and 'policies and procedures'. There are some minor inaccuracies, such as 'interest to a marketing department' (should be 'interest in') and 'known about company's policies' (should be 'am familiar with'). While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning clearly, it lacks the sophistication and precision required for higher bands. Incorporating more precise collocations would elevate your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While your meaning is always clear, there are several grammatical errors that occur throughout the text. For example, 'enables me to improve' should be 'which has enabled me to improve', and 'as I have built... and familiar with' is missing the verb 'am' before 'familiar'. Additionally, the sentence starting with 'Since,' is grammatically incomplete. These errors are frequent enough to prevent a higher score, though they do not impede communication.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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