Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

  • say what you have learned in your present job
  • suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
  • explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Manager,

My name is John, employed as an office admin in your company from last two years. I am considering to change my department and would like explore opportunities in sales and this will contribute towards my enhancement.

Working as an office admin, I learned expertise in problem solving, communication as well as in multi-tasking. These skills are vital in order to develop the company.

I can assure you that I will contribute in overall growth of the company and would eventually bring more sales as compared to other staff members because I have intellectual skills and my presenting ability will leads to constructive development.

Furthermore, I would like remain as a part of this organization as I have strong relations with co-workers and it feels like a family. Apart from that, lucrative earnings are crucial in recent times due to inflation and incentives of our company are extraordinary.

I hope you will look into this matter.

Yours faithfully,

John

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response6.0
Coherence and Cohesion6.5
Lexical Resource6.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.5
Overall6.0

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The letter addresses all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly state what you have learned, suggest benefits for the company, and explain your desire to stay. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat superficial. For instance, when discussing how the company would benefit from your move, you make vague claims about 'intellectual skills' and 'presenting ability' without providing concrete examples of how these would specifically translate to a sales role. To reach a higher band, ensure your arguments are more specific and professional in tone, as the current justification feels slightly generic.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The letter is logically organized into paragraphs, each addressing a specific requirement of the task. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore' and 'Apart from that' to transition between ideas. While the flow is generally clear, the connection between sentences could be more sophisticated. Some transitions feel a bit mechanical, and the overall progression of ideas is functional but lacks the smooth, natural flow expected at higher levels. Ensure that each paragraph builds upon the previous one to create a more cohesive narrative throughout the letter.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'enhancement', 'lucrative', and 'incentives'. However, there are some awkward collocations and word choices, such as 'learned expertise in problem solving' (usually 'gained expertise') and 'presenting ability will leads to' (grammatical error aside, 'presentation skills' would be more natural). The vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning, but it lacks the precision and flexibility required for a higher band. Focusing on more natural collocations and professional business terminology would significantly improve your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. For example, 'employed as an office admin in your company from last two years' should be 'for the last two years'. Additionally, 'would like explore' is missing the infinitive marker 'to', and 'my presenting ability will leads to' contains a subject-verb agreement error. While these errors do not impede overall communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focus on proofreading for basic tense consistency and subject-verb agreement.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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