Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Sir,

I am writing this letter to transfer me from Human resources organisation to the sale department.I have been here at the same post since two years. Last week, I read an advertisement about the recruitment of sales manager in our company.

To begin with, this department give me chance to learn various skills like team coordination, mangement skills and many more in 2 years under the guidance of senior colleagues which definitely assist me during handle the sales team.

As the department knows, I have graduated from MBA and having experience in your HR section. I could easily apply academic as well as professional skills to enhance not only the sales but also the reputation of our company.

Additionally, due to, peaceful and supportive atmosphere, I would never think to leave this firm at any cost. Moreover, the benefits and other facilities will also never be provided by other competitors.

Therefore, kindly accept this humble request and I am sure I will be your best option for this psot.

I will be eagerly waiting for your prompt response.

Thank you

Rohit

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

You have addressed all three bullet points required by the prompt: you mentioned your learning in the current role, suggested how the company would benefit from your transfer, and explained your loyalty to the firm. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For example, while you mention learning 'team coordination' and 'management skills', you could have provided a more specific example of a project or task that prepared you for a sales role. Additionally, the tone is generally appropriate for a formal letter, though the opening sentence is slightly abrupt. Overall, the response covers the requirements well enough to be considered clear and relevant.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The letter follows a logical structure with clear paragraphing. You use some cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'Additionally', and 'Therefore' to link your ideas. However, the flow between sentences is occasionally mechanical, and some transitions feel slightly forced. For instance, the transition to the paragraph about your MBA degree could be smoother. Referencing is generally clear, but there are minor issues with sentence-level cohesion, such as the awkward phrasing in the second paragraph regarding 'during handle the sales team'. Overall, the organization is sufficient to guide the reader through your request without confusion.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'recruitment', 'coordination', and 'professional skills'. However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice and minor errors, such as 'transfer me' instead of 'request a transfer', and 'psot' (a typo for 'post'). You also use 'organisation' when referring to a department, which is slightly inaccurate in this context. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning, it lacks the precision and flexibility required for a higher band score. Expanding your range of collocations would significantly improve the quality of your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Examples include 'this department give me chance' (subject-verb agreement), 'since two years' (incorrect preposition/tense usage), and 'during handle the sales team' (incorrect verb form). While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your message, they occur frequently enough to limit the score. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage for durations, and ensuring that complex structures are grammatically sound.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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