Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Sir,

I hope you are doing well. I am writing to discuss about the possibility of moving in different department within company, as I believe this would be an important step for my career development.

Over the past two years, I gained valuable experience in problem solving, team building and customer service. I have also learned how to manage time efficiently, deal with challenging situations and work efficiently under pressure. Most importantly, under experience collegues I has developed completel understanding of company's operations.

I believe transferring to a different department would be benefit the company as well as my career. The skills and knowledge I gained in my current role could be applied to a new area. In addition, gaining experience in another department would give me broader understanding of business, which could help me in future for another responsblilites.

I would like to empahasize, I have no intention to leave company. I have enjoy working here, positive atmosphere and I appreciate the opportunitied I have been given. Therefore, I would prefer to continue my career in this company instead of looking another opportunities elsewhere.

I would be greatful if you could consider my request and discuss avaliable opportunities with me.

Yours sincerely,

Neel Mistry.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

You have successfully addressed all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly outlined the skills learned in your current role, explained the mutual benefits of a transfer, and expressed your commitment to the company. The tone is appropriate for a formal letter to a manager. To reach a higher band, ensure that your ideas are slightly more developed; for instance, when mentioning the benefits to the company, you could provide a specific example of how your current skills would solve a problem in a different department. Overall, the response is well-focused and meets the requirements of the task effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The letter is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use paragraphing appropriately to separate different ideas. Cohesive devices such as 'In addition', 'Therefore', and 'Most importantly' are used to guide the reader through your argument. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and there are minor issues with referencing, such as 'the company's operations' where 'the' is missing. The progression of ideas is clear, and the letter flows well from start to finish, making it easy to follow your request.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey your message clearly. Phrases like 'valuable experience', 'career development', and 'positive atmosphere' are used correctly. However, there are several spelling errors, such as 'collegues' (colleagues), 'completel' (complete), 'responsblilites' (responsibilities), 'empahasize' (emphasize), 'opportunitied' (opportunities), and 'greatful' (grateful). These errors are frequent enough to be noticeable, though they do not impede communication. To improve, focus on proofreading for common spelling mistakes and try to incorporate more precise collocations to enhance the professional tone of your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is appropriate for this task. However, there are several grammatical inaccuracies, such as 'discuss about' (should be 'discuss'), 'moving in different department' (should be 'moving to a different department'), and 'under experience collegues I has developed' (should be 'under experienced colleagues I have developed'). These errors occur throughout the text. While your meaning is always clear, the frequency of these slips prevents a higher score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and correct preposition usage will help you achieve greater accuracy in your future writing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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