Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Mr. Smith,

I am yousra and I have been working in your company from two years. I am writing to request you that I want to change my current department because it is essential for my career development.

I have learned multiple skills in quality department such as, sorting, quality analysis and criteria to pass products bags. Furthermore, it helps me to work in fast paced environment and gave ma a chance to work as a team.

In addition, I would like to inform you that I have completed my masters in finance and definitely it would be beneficial for the company if I work in finance department because I have acquire knowledge about finance management in my masters and I will give my best to give more profit to company by using different strategies.

Moreover, I want to let you know I wish to continue my career here due to multiple reasons. One major reason is that it was my first job and company always support throughout my masters journey and another reason is that I want to contribute more in company success in future by utilizing my knowledge and hard work.

I would be grateful to you. if you give me the chance to work in the finance department from October 2026.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Your faithful.

Yousra Ahmed

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The letter addresses all three bullet points of the prompt effectively. You clearly outline your current experience in the quality department, explain how your finance degree would benefit the company, and provide valid reasons for wanting to stay within the organization. The tone is appropriate for a formal business letter. To reach a higher band, ensure that your ideas are slightly more developed; for instance, you could provide a more specific example of how your finance knowledge would solve a current company problem. Overall, the purpose of the letter is clear and the response is well-structured.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The letter is logically organized with clear paragraphing. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the prompt, which helps the reader follow your argument easily. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore', 'In addition', and 'Moreover' to link your ideas. However, some of these transitions feel slightly mechanical. To improve, try to vary your linking phrases and ensure that the flow between sentences is smoother. The use of referencing is generally clear, and the letter maintains a consistent progression from the introduction to the final request.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'career development', 'fast-paced environment', and 'contribute'. There are some minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'acquire knowledge' instead of 'acquired knowledge' and 'give more profit' instead of 'increase profitability'. While these errors do not impede communication, they indicate a need for more precise vocabulary usage. To improve, focus on learning common collocations used in professional business contexts to make your writing sound more natural and sophisticated.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are several grammatical errors throughout the text, such as 'I am yousra', 'from two years' (should be 'for two years'), and 'company always support' (should be 'the company has always supported'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with sentence fragments like 'I would be grateful to you. if you give me...'. While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your message, they occur frequently enough to impact the overall accuracy of the writing. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and tense consistency will help improve your score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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