Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Sir,

I hope you are doing well. I am writing to request you to enroll me to different department. Currently, I am working as "Administrative Assistant" in legal department from last two years, and i have got enough experience in this field.

Recently, It came to my notice that, there is one position is vacant in hiring department. As now, i have strong background of Administrative Assistant in legal department with MBA in Global Business Management. I want to be a part that department. I was awarded 3 times in last two year based on my performance. If you consider me for this position, it will save resources to get hiring new one from scratch. Although i am holding enough experience in the same field that you are looking for.

Also, I gave my two years to this company, and learned many skills. So, I don't want to leave this company to gain career opportunity anywhere else.

I hope you to look into this matter, and consider me for this position. Looking forward to your response.

Yours sincerely,

Ashwani Handa

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

You have addressed all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly stated your experience in the legal department, explained the benefits to the company regarding your transfer, and provided a valid reason for wanting to stay with the firm. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For example, while you mention that moving you would 'save resources,' you could have elaborated more on how your specific MBA skills would add value to the hiring department. The tone is generally appropriate for a formal letter, though it lacks a degree of professional polish in some areas. Overall, the task requirements are met, but the depth of explanation could be improved to reach a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The letter follows a logical structure with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'Also' and 'Although' to connect your ideas. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes a bit mechanical, and the paragraphing is not fully utilized to separate distinct ideas effectively. The transition between your current role and the request for a new position is clear, but the overall progression could be smoother if you used a wider variety of linking words and phrases to connect your arguments more fluidly. The referencing is generally clear, but some sentences feel slightly disjointed.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'career development,' 'performance,' and 'vacant.' However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'enroll me to different department' (should be 'transfer me to a different department') and 'get hiring new one' (should be 'hiring someone new'). You rely on fairly common vocabulary and could benefit from incorporating more precise professional terminology to enhance your writing. While your meaning is always clear, the lack of flexibility and occasional errors in word formation prevent a higher score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Issues include missing articles ('in legal department'), incorrect preposition usage ('in hiring department'), and subject-verb agreement errors ('there is one position is vacant'). Additionally, there are punctuation and capitalization slips, such as the lowercase 'i' used throughout the letter. While these errors do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to suggest a lack of control over more complex structures. To improve, focus on proofreading for basic grammar and ensuring consistent use of articles and prepositions.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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